


Of Ashes and Iron

by fallingnights



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Arc Reactor, Arc Reactor Issues, Attempted Kidnapping, Awesome James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), BAMF Edwin Jarvis, BAMF James "Rhodey" Rhodes, BAMF Jarvis (Iron Man movies), BAMF Pepper Potts, BAMF Tony Stark, Blood and Injury, F/F, Female Tony Stark, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Human Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Hurt Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Kidnapping, Maria Stark's Good Parenting, Medical Torture, Mental Health Issues, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Psychological Torture, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, The Ten Rings (Marvel), Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Torture, Underage Drinking, Waterboarding, author is not an engineer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-11-19 09:37:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18134060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingnights/pseuds/fallingnights
Summary: When Natasha Antonia Stark was born on May 29, 1970, she was already a disappointment to her father. It was out of her control, but she was certainly going to be punished for it the rest of her life.*****Thrust into a world with almost nobody by her side, Toni Stark has to fight her way to success. When they knock her down, she has to get back up. When they burn her to the ground, she builds an iron armor and rises from the ashes.Rewriting...





	1. Born of Ashes

Despite what everybody thought, Toni didn’t believe she knew everything. She was extremely intelligent, a genius, but she knew she had a lot to learn. The one thing she did know, however, was that her father hated her; that she would never be good enough for him. Everybody else knew that too. 

So, when Natasha Natasha Antonia Stark was born on May 29, 1970, her father had scoffed. She was supposed to be his heir to everything; his fortune, his company, his legacy. He pulled out a flask as a single thought flew through his mind: what a disappointment.

“A daughter,” his friend, Obadiah Stane had said, voicing the word with the same disdain Howard showed on his face. “What are you going to do?” Howard shook his head and drained the alcohol. 

What was he going to do? 

This was supposed to be the heir to Stark Industry, his greatest creation molded in his image; not a daughter. What fucking good would she be to Stark Industries? To him?

“Well, there is some good news,” Obadiah said, slapping a hand on Howard's back. “With Maria as her mother, she’ll be beautiful and easy to marry off for the company. And, look on the bright side, Maria is still young; you have plenty of time to have a son.” 

Howard had nodded in agreement and Obadiah quickly changed the topic to the company; she wasn’t worth their time now.  
*****  
When Maria had held her daughter for the first time, a strong sense of sadness washed over her. 

This poor girl, She had thought, brushing a strand of black hair out of the newborns face. She was born into a family with a father that didn’t want her and a mother that certainly shouldn’t be a mother. 

“Is that her?” Edwin Jarvis asked, stepping into the hospital room. “She’s beautiful.” 

“She is, isn’t she? Would you like to hold her?” Maria asked, moving the sleeping child towards him.

“Of course.” Jarvis smiled, scooping Natasha into his arms. “Hello there, Miss Natasha.” Jarvis cooed, holding her gently against his chest. “Look at you. You’re going to do great things, aren't you?” Maria could feel the joy radiating from Jarvis as Natasha let a little noise, as if she was agreeing. She let out a small, sad smile at this. Jarvis was made for parenthood; he would have as many children as possible if he could. He would be a better parent than her.  
*****  
This first thing Natasha can remember is just how slowly world moved around her. She struggled to express herself and she hated it. Although she was speaking in full sentences at two years old, no amount of words satisfied her thoughts; nothing around her satisfied her. Her thoughts pounded in her head and it hurt not to do something with the overwhelming knowledge. 

“She needs something.” Natasha heard Jarvis say outside her door as she woke up. “She needs to do something.” 

“What do you want me to do? I don’t know how to help. I don’t know what to do.” Maria, her mother, whispered, the words harsh and clipped. 

“Talk to her, engage with her, love her. Maria, you can be a mother, a good one you just need to try before it's too late.” 

“I-,” She sighed. “Okay.” Natasha sat up as the door opened. Maria trailed behind Jarvis nervously.

“Good morning, Miss.” Jarvis smiled, kneeling down to her level. 

“Good morning, Natasha,” Maria said, her cheerful tone more forced than Jarvis. Maria shot a quick nervous glance at Jarvis before looking back at Natasha. “I was wondering if I could show you something.” Natasha looked at Jarvis, who gave a small nod that she copied. 

Maria guided Natasha through the barren hallways to a room where a grand piano stood. 

“I’d, um, like to teach you how to play,” She said, sitting down on the bench. “Would you like to learn?” 

“Yes,” Natasha muttered, moving towards the bench.  
*****  
Natasha wasn’t content, not yet, but the music helped a little; her thoughts and emotions were becoming something. However, it was what Jarvis had given her that truly let her breathe. Her toys had been replaced with a set of tools and books on math, science, and engineering was stacked on a table. 

“Do something with those thoughts in your head,” Jarvis said, pushing a tool into her hand. “Create.” And she does. 

Her room turns into a workshop and her thoughts turn into creation. Jarvis cheers her on through every moment, every attempt, and every mistake. Her mother -Maria as she’s know to Natasha- attempts to support her as well; she’s not the parent Jarvis is but she’s trying.  
*****  
At four years old, Natasha hadn’t spoken to her father in months. There were passing glancing, looks of disdain, but never any actually words. Looking back, Natasha wished it just stayed like that. 

“It's truly fantastic!” Jarvis praised, his pride shining through his grin. Natasha couldn’t help but blush at the praise, turning her gaze down to her circuit board. She knows it's far from perfect, it's not the best it can be, but Jarvis is just so proud of her. “We should show your father.” 

Natasha nodded eagerly and grabbed the board in one hand, grabbing Jarvis’s hand with her other. They walked slowly to Howard’s lab and Natasha could hear Howard's voice echoing through the bare corridor. 

“-infertile!” The words ring with clarity as they walked up to the door. “SI stills needs an heir and now I have no way-.” 

“You still have her, she could-.” Howard cut Obadiah off with a scoff. Jarvis, his eyes narrowed, took that as his cue, knocking, but not waiting for a response as he pushed open the door. 

“Sir,” Natasha felt herself shaking as Jarvis pulled her into the lab. The eyes of the two men snapped to her, one was cold and calculating, the other was blazing with anger. “Natasha has something I believe she should show you.” Natasha uncertainly pulled her hand from Jarvis and held up her circuit board up to him. Howard grabbed the board roughly and scoffed. “She built it, by herself.” 

Natasha suddenly felt uncomfortable. 

“Howard, it seems you may have an heir after all,” Obadiah said through a shark's grin. 

“Yes,” Howard muttered, the anger that flickered in his eyes twisting into something much colder, something that sent a shiver down her spine. “Jarvis, she will start coming to the lab to work with me. Obie, schedule a press conference.” 

“Come along, miss,” Jarvis said, grabbing the circuit board and Natasha's hand. When they reached her room and Natasha was shaking and she didn’t know why. 

“Jarvis?” She whispered, sitting on her bed, pulling her knees to her chest. 

“What’s wrong with me?” 

“Nothing.” He coaxed, kneeling in front of her. “Why would you think that?”

“Didn't you see? The way they looked at me?” 

“They just, they just don’t understand you. Now," Jarvis clapped his hands, attempting to change the conversation. "I believe we have a press conference to prepare for. You’ll get to show the world how amazing you really are.”

The press conferences is the next day and the reporters swarm her like vultures. Looking back on it, Natasha will see this as the moment when she stopped being a person to the press, to the people; she was just entertainment. 

“She’s a prodigy, a genius” Maria smiled.“Just like her father.”  
Maria laughed as Howard wrapped an arm around her, and pulled Natasha closer to them with a hand pressing on her shoulder. They grinned and laughed and Natasha did her best to do the same; look into the blinding light and try her best to look happy, try her best to resist the urge to run. 

The world sees a happy family leaving a legacy of genius. Natasha only sees the purple bruise left on her shoulder. 

She's expected in the lab after the press conference. 

“Natasha,” Howard beckoned, not looking up from the project in front of him. 

“Come here.” She’s taken aback for a split second, but moves next him. “Tell me, what I'm a working on?”

“A missile,” Natasha answered immediately. She had seen the plans and heard her uncle Obie talking about them, but had never seen one in person. Looking at it, she desperately wanted to take it apart, to examine every part, every detail. 

“This is the Stark legacy. These weapons protect this country and its people, it soldiers. You are now part of that. That is your purpose and Obi and I will ensure you will fulfill it.” He turned to face her and that unmistakable anger flared behind the coldness of his eyes. “Failure and mistakes will not be tolerated.” He turned back to his project, the threat lingering in the air. 

“Stark men are made of iron,” He said, shoving a test tube into her hands. Acid. She realized as few drops splashed onto her unprotected hands. She almost screamed and dropped it, but bit it back. Natasha felt tears prickle at her eyes and the taste of copper fill her mouth. “ I expect you to be as well.”  
*****  
Every trip to the lab is a test. 

Sometimes she was expected to build something, other times she was expected to watch and learn. One mistake- which was her doing practically anything according to Howard- and she left with another collection of scars. 

This time was different however 

“Have I told you about Captain America?” Howard slurred as he stared a map, swirling the liquid in his glass.

“No,” Natasha said carefully, setting down the tools in her hand. 

“He was the greatest thing I ever helped make.” He started, taking another sip from his glass. “Abraham Erskine had enlisted me to help make a super soldier that could end the war single-handedly…” He started, regaling her with tales of World War Two, the Howling Commandos, and Steve Rogers. It was the first time she ever saw her father speak with such pride and enthusiasm; it was also the first time she left the lab without any injuries  
*****  
At five years old, another person entered her life.

“Well,” a voice said, as Natasha played the final chord of her piece.. “I didn’t realize our little prodigy had a hidden talent.” Natasha widened her eyes and quickly moved away from the piano. 

“Um, Hi” she stuttered, fidgeting with the hem of her Captain America T-shirt. "Sorry, um, I didn’t realize you were the there.”

“Nonsense, it was privilege to watch you play, ducky. Now, you probably don’t remember me,” She said, crouching down to Natasha level, a smile shining on her bright red lips. “I’m your Aunt Peggy. I met you a long time ago.”

“Oh,” Natasha muttered, looking down, still unsure of what to say.

“I love your shirt,” Peggy said, painfully aware at how uncomfortable Natasha was. “I used to know him, just like your father.” 

“Really?” Natasha asked, excitement glazing over her face. 

“He was a great friend and, just like you, he had a hidden talent.” She leaned closer to Natasha and whispered conspiratorially. “Nobody knows this, but he was an amazing artist, just like you.” Natasha felt her eyes widen and excitement wash over her, 

“Really?” Peggy laughed and grinned.

“Really. I love to show you it sometimes, if you’d like that.” 

“That sounds amaz-.” 

“Ah, there you are, Margaret. Howard arrived a couple minutes ago.” Maria interrupted, stepping into the room with Jarvis by her side. “I see you found our little prodigy.” 

“She was wonderful company,” Peggy said, standing up and placing a gentle hand on Natasha's shoulder. “I’d love to tell you so more stories, Natasha. Would you be okay with that?” 

“Yes, please.”  
*****  
Natasha can’t get enough of Captain America and the Howling Commandos and Aunt Peggy indulges her as much as she can whenever she’s at the mansion. Jarvis helps indulge her as well. He gets her posters, comics and books- anything and everything Captain America and Commandos. Ever Maria pitches in, getting Natasha t-shirts and clothing -unbeknownst to Howard- that Natasha wears religiously.

It becomes an often sight: Natasha curled up in a Captain America blanket, with Jarvis, maybe Maria sitting on the end of the bed, listening to the tales from Aunt Peggy.

Natasha favorites stories are always the ones from before the serum.  
*****  
At six, Natasha built an engine and made another milestone as a prodigy.

Jarvis cheers where he sees it finished for the first time; he breaks out in a grin and pride radiates from him. Maria shown a gentle smile along with him and congratulated her. Aunt Peggy sent a cheerful letter of congratulations. Howard got wasted and showed Natasha just what he thought of her achievement. 

It marked her third trip to the hospital in a year. The nurses worked with the usual discretion and did their best to make Natasha as comfortable in her stay. 

“A cracked rib, broken wrist, a concussion. Maria, something needs to be done.” 

“What should we do? Report him?” She scoffed, running a hand over her face. 

“That's exactly what needs to be done.”

“You want to report the most powerful man in the country? The man who can just pay away his problems?” Jarvis let out a noise of frustration. 

“She needs to get out of the house, she needs to be safe.”

“Howard has been saying it's time to send her to school. I-.” She sighed. “She won’t be out of the house all the time but it should be an improvement.”  
*****  
At seven, Everybody at the school is like Howard, she realized. They all hate her. 

She’s too smart for them, she’s too young for them and everytime she succeeds they hate her a little bit more. All she wants is some friends, all they want is a fight. Aunt Peggy teaches her how to win it. Aunt Peggy shows Natasha how to make a fist, how to take down someone twice her size, how to win. The next time she’s corned, she’s ready.  
*****  
At eight, she’s kidnapped on her way home from school; she got into the wrong car. They treat her very well for the most part and she almost doesn’t want to leave. It's the first of many times.  
*****  
At nine, she wants to be called Toni. Natasha Stark has to many implications and expectations that come with it. She just tells everybody it sounds cooler and they know it's not true, but accept it anyway.  
*****  
At twelve, she gets kidnapped again and Howard refused to pay the ransom. So, Toni had to build her way out. She took down the bad guys and escaped just like Captain America and Howard was fucking pissed. 

“You’re a disgrace, getting taken like that.” He sneered, shoving her to the ground. The pain told her to stay down, her brain told her stay down, every rational thought told her stay down. But she didn’t, she got up. 

She hit the ground again, blood filling her nose and mouth. Toni got up and stared him in the eyes and spit blood at his feet.

She did it again and again. 

Stark men are made of iron and she gets back up.  
*****  
At fourteen, she graduates high school and every college and university wants her.

“What about one of the Ivy League? Harvard seems to want you.” Jarvis said, holding up the large packet. 

“I don't know,” Toni muttered, flipping through another stack. She wasn’t really interested in doing this, she already had an idea of what school she wanted, but Jarvis had insisted. “How about this one?” She said, plucking out the red envelope and passing it to Jarvis. 

“Massachusetts Institute of Technology.” He reads out loud. “MIT. I think that's a great choice.”


	2. MIT: The Great Illusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MIT: A world of creation. Armed with a Captain America shield and a wrench, she's ready to take on the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So, I currently have the flu and nothing else to do, so that's why this chapter is up extremely quickly.
> 
> Also, there is a sexual assault scene in this chapter. If you want to see it, it starts at the line break that looks like this: ------- and ends at the next line break. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Howard said no.

Truly, she doesn’t know what she expected. Toni found a place where she could build and create and maybe be herself so of course, he said no.

“You will go somewhere I choose.” He said, not looking up from his desk as he dismissed her. He broke her heart but at least he wouldn’t see her cry. When she left his office, she fell into Jarvis’ arms and started sobbing. Jarvis looked down at her and glances at Maria as he gently let go of her and stormed into Howard's office, livid.

The next day, the application to MIT sat on her workbench.

“How did you convince him?” Toni asked, filling out the application.

“I explained how beneficial MIT would be to you and how you would succeed much more at a school of your choice.”

“Mh.” Toni hummed. She knew that wasn’t the whole truth but just shrugged her shoulders and went along with it. “What sounds better?”  
*****  
Aunt Peggy came to see her off.

“I’m so proud of you, Ducky,” Peggy said, hugging Toni. “Before you go, I have something for you.” She pressing small velvet box into Toni’s hand. Toni tired not to flinch and gave it a questioning look before opening it.

“Wow,” Toni marvels. She lifts it out of the box and smiles at the Captain America shield locket. Peggy took the box and grinned.

“Open it.” Inside is a small picture of her a couple of years earlier. She’s sitting on her bed in a Captain America t-shirt, eyes wide with her gaze intently on Aunt Peggy who in the picture is waving her arm and talking intently. Jarvis sits, watching just as intently, next to her on the bed. “Your mother took the picture and Jarvis and I thought it would be a good reminder for you while you're off at college.”

She wasn’t going to cry, Toni told herself, feeling her eyes water. “Thank you.”

“Miss,” Jarvis said gently. “We have to go.” She nodded and wiped her eyes.

“I love you, Aunt Peggy.”

“I love you too, Ducky. Now, go show them what you're made of.”  
*****  
Saying goodbye to Jarvis was one of the most difficult things she had ever done.

She’d still see him on breaks, talk to him on the phone or letters but it wouldn’t be the same. This man had been with her from the beginning. He was the only one from the first moment of her life that supported her unconditionally; he was her real parent.

“You’re going to do great things here. You’re finally going to be able to be you and I’m just so proud you.” Tears fell down her face and she collapsed into his chest.

“Thank you, Jarvis. Thank you so much.” They stood there for a moment longer before Toni pulled away from the hug, wiping her eyes.

“Now, I have something for you, a little congratulations. Don’t open it until you get to your room, ok?” He smiled, tucking a letter into her hands. She nodded and held it close to her chest. “Now go.” She nodded and gave him another hug before turning away, walking without looking back, she couldn’t.  
*****  
As the youngest student at MIT, she got her own room. She also had to check in weekly with the RA and would be highly monitored by her teachers. Franky, to her it was ridiculous, but she did her own space and Jarvis had asked her to try.

Jarvis, in fact, had come down a week before with a couple of other members of staff to help move everything into her room and he did an amazing job. She marveled at it. There weren’t a lot of decorations or frankly person items but it felt like her room back home. There was a workbench set up and small piano keyboard on a stand-Maria’s contribution.

She let out a sigh and small smile before walking over to her workbench. Toni turned the letter over a couple of times before gingerly opening it. It was a short letter but held so much love. It exploded with compliments and just how proud of her he was. 

Armed with Captain America’s shield on her heart, she was ready to take on anything.  
*****  
The classes were a little slow for her but overall they’re interesting.

Looking at her in class you wouldn’t expect much from her. You wouldn’t be very impressed with the girl in the far back desk with her black curls widely twisted around her head and a baggy MIT or Captain America T-shirt paired with sweatpants or leggings.

Almost everybody took her at face value, teachers and students alike.

Teachers would constantly try and get the best of her, make her prove her intelligence. Students would just stay away from her and make snide comments. She’s a young woman in a school full of men that see her as part of everything wrong in the world. It because of that there's always a strange mix of anger and amusement that surrounded her.

This time she doesn’t try to quell the rumors or try to make friends.

She doesn’t need them.  
*****  
MIT is a whirlwind of coffee and creation. She spends days without sleep or food in a euphoria of work, especially now with no one to monitor her.

She loves it.  
*****  
Her robotics class had a competition for their final and she kicks ass.

Each team of four or, in Toni’s case, a team of one, has to build a robot that can run an obstacle course against another team. The winners compete until there is one team left standing.

Hers is named Steve Robot and decked out in red, white, and blue coloring. It's dumb, but Jarvis had suggested on their last phone call. It much smaller and less bulky and works much better than anybody else's.

The first time she wins, it must be a fluke. The second time, she must be cheating.

“Professor, I don’t need to cheat. Have you looked at the other bots?”  
*****  
She’s sixteen and nearing the end of her second year at MIT when she gets into a fight with her professor after class. He marked her down on her final for no reasonable reason at all which makes sense: she’s the the only one that has to be reasonable.

Fuck that.

“I don’t think you did this on your own. There is no possible way you got everything correct.”

“Why? Cause nobody else did?”

“Yes, in fact.” He said, narrowing his eyes. “Why would you be the only one to pass?”

“Because I’m smarter than anyone here.” She snatches a blank test from the desk, marching up to the chalkboard. She takes a piece of chalk and starts solving the seven problems on the board. She felt the professor eyes gaze bore into her and heard the snickers of the few students left.

Fuck them all.

In less than 10 minutes, she has the work down for all seven questions and all their parts. She turns to the professor and drops the piece of chalk in his hand.

“Check my work, you know it's correct.” She steps back and takes a seat down in the closest desk, leaning forward on her hand. She can hear the students left scribbling frantically behind her, either copying or checking her work.

“I-.” He took a step back, his eyes unbelieving. “It's correct.”

“Hm? Really? Never would have thought.” She stood up and pulled her graded test of his desk. “I expect a grade change,” she paused, shoving it into his hands. “Please.” She let that hang in the silence as she grabbed her bag and left the room, gently touching the Captain America locket.

“Hey!” A voice shouted through the silent hallway. “Wait up.” She almost wanted to keep walking.

“What?” Her voice came out resigned, ready to fight whatever he said.

“That was really awesome. You really showed him.”

“What?”

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while, I just didn’t know how to go about it. I’m Justin Hammer.” He stuck out his hand and she narrowed her eyes.

“I’m not going to fuck you or give you money.” Even at 15, too many people had tired. He had the decency to look disgusted and horrified.

“God no. I just want to be a friend.”

“Really?” She said in a flat tone.

“Okay, how about this: I’m having a study group at the cafe tonight. Come hang out and then make your decision.”

“Maybe.” She said finally. Justin grinned but it wasn’t like Howards or the other students; it was one of genuine happiness.

“I’ll take it. Maybe see you tonight!” He waved and practically ran down the hallway.  
*****  
She went and had so much fun. Justin actually seemed to care for her as a person, not as entertainment, not as a rival.

“Um, I don’t like being handed things,” She muttered awkwardly, phantom pain flaring in her hands, as Justin tried to hand her a mug of coffee. He looked taken aback for a split second and Toni thought she ruined it, but he cracked a smile and place it in front of her.

“All good, everybody has their quirks. Right, guys?” She grinned.  
\------  
Justin became a frequent friend. After class, they would often stop for coffee at the cafe before heading back to her room to study and hang out. She would undoubtedly help him with any homework or projects and he would give his input on her projects.

They were extremely close so she didn’t even question him when blueprints went missing; she had most of them in her head anyway.

To Toni, she was on cloud nine and then it all fell apart when Justin took her to a party on campus.

“Here.” He told her, placing a red solo cup in front of her. She eyed it questioningly. She’d seen how Howard acted when he drank and didn’t really feel comfortable. “It's just soda.” Toni sipped it slowly and felt really dizzy.

Something was wrong. Justin stopped talking and looked at her, coldness shining behind his eyes with a shark grin on his face.

“Toni, you don’t look okay. I think we should go.” She felt so tired and dizzy but something in her mind was blaring.

“No,” She slurred, attempting to shove him away Everything was so loud.

“Come on, I think you’re drunk.” His voice sounded so gentle as he grabbed he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her outside. She tried to push him away but he grabbed her hair shoved her against the wall

“Such a tease.” No. No. No. The words weren’t working, nothing was working. He let his hand drift down as he leaned his face closer hers. “I’ve been wanting to-.” Toni slammed her head into his face and he grabbed his face, blood gushing from his nose. “Fuck!”

She stumbled forward, almost tripping. Everything was spinning and she tried to move towards her dorm building.

“Miss, are you okay?” A voice said. She looked up and saw the blurry figure of an African-American man.

“Help me.” She said, grabbing his shirt. “Please.” She attempted to move closer but tripped, being caught by the man.

“Hey, sorry about my friend. She got wasted.” A voice, Justin said. “I can take her now, thanks-.”

“I think you should go.”

“I don’t think you-.”

“Go.”  
\--------  
She woke up the next day and threw up.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” She cried, curling up on the ground of the bathroom.

“Hey, it's okay. You’re safe now.” James Rhodes said, sitting down next to her. He explained everything that happened last night.

“I’m going to murder him. I’m going to fucking kill him.” She whispered, squeezing the Captain America locket with all her rage.

“I’ll hide the body, but first why don’t you clean up and I’ll go get some food?” She didn’t want him to go but nodded anyway. Toni stepped back into the bathroom and tried to wash off Justin Hammer.

When she looked in the mirror, she noticed a chunk of hair missing from when he-. Toni grabbed a pair of scissors of her workbench and cut it as short as possible.

She’s made of iron, she wasn’t going to let this break her.  
*****  
Rhodey _-I can’t call you James, it's too plain for a person like you-_ becomes a fast friend, but Toni is trying to be more careful this time.

However, it doesn’t work out that way. He becomes a big part of her life very quickly. There’s no sexual or romantic side to this relationship, despite the rumors around campus. It almost a familial love as if they had been in each others lives from the beginning.

Toni revels in it.  
*****  
STARK HEIRESS INVOLVED IN DRUNKEN FIGHT.

The article is plastered everywhere it seems like. There's a picture of her slamming her head into Justin's Face. It fills her with extreme satisfaction.

“Nice job, Ducky.” Aunt Peggy told her over the phone. “I framed the headline. Kick their assess, and do it with a smile.”

Jarvis called her a little later after Peggy. “Your father is enraged about the article. I think your trip back next week for break should be pushed back until the house is in a calmer state.” Jarvis said, sending a clear message. “Your mother sends her love, as do I.”

Rhodey can tell somethings wrong when Toni gets off the phone.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, totally.” She said, her voice cracking, totally not okay at all. Howard had to ruin everything.

“Come here,” Rhodey said, standing up and pulling her into a hug. Toni feels herself stiffen, but with the warmth and comfort radiating for Rhodey, she melts into his arms.  
*****  
Toni is not sure what to do with all the physical affection. She only really only got it from Jarvis and Aunt Peggy, and sometimes Maria. So, she decides to reciprocate with dumb nicknames: honey bear, sour patch, platypus, ect.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you something.” Toni tries not to let the panic flash on her face.

“Okay. What’s up, platypus?”

“Well, Summer is coming up and I was wondering if you’d want to come over and meet my family. My mom has been wanting to meet you.”

“I’d love that.” Toni grinned, before giving him a quick hug- the first one she had initiated.

She could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I wish I could promise chapters would regularly come out this often, that's not gonna happen. Right now I have the flu and I'm on spring break so I have a lot of time. Once that's over, I'm most likely going to go on a monthly update schedule. Thanks for reading!


	3. The Breaking of Iron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is hard to gain; easy to lose. That's certainly true for Toni when she loses two of the most important people in her life.

When Toni first meets Rhodey’s family, she felt a twinge of jealousy in her chest. It was unreasonable but it still hurt seeing a family so close and happy. That feeling dissipated, however, when they immediately welcomed her into their lives.

 

“So beautiful and smart!”  Mrs. Rhodes said _-Call me_ _Roberta, dear!_ \- as Rhodey introduced her. Roberta turned her attention to Rhodey: “How you managed to snag a friend like her? I’ll never know.”

 

“He’s just lucky,” Toni grinned, gently hitting his arm.

 

“Yeah, I am.” He grinned back. “Friends with the smartest girl on campus? Can’t fail any classes now.”

 

“It goes both ways. Being friends with a rocket scientist who can check my math? It's a blessing, truly.”

 

“I see how it, just using me for my brains.”  Rhodey shook his head. Toni wrapped an arm around him and gave a devious smile.

 

“You know it.” The night went by without a single dull moment. Roberta told stories from Rhodey’s childhood that made him turn bright red; stories Toni made sure Rhodey would never hear the end of. Rhodey got her back, however, spilling all the dumb stuff the genius had done in her short time on campus.  

 

“So,” She said, rinsing off the dishes from dinner; Toni had been completely adamant to help clean up before she left. “I was thinking.”

 

“Oh god. Is that why I see smoke?” Rhodey said, drying the plates she handed him off.

 

“Very funny. But seriously, I found an apartment near campus and I was wondering if you wanted to,” She paused. “Move in with me? No pressure of course. I just thought since you already spent so much time at my dorm that it would make sense but I totally understand if you don’t want -.”

 

“Toni.” He cut her off, turning to look at her. “I think that's a really good idea. I’d love to.” The tension left Toni and she smiled before pulling him into a hug.

 

“Hey, dry your hands!”

 

*****

Toni wanted to stay there forever. For the first time, she truly felt welcome, apart of something but all good things must come to an end. For the rest of summer break, she was to stay at the mansion.

 

“Hey, J.” She greeted, pulling him into a hug as she stepped into the mansion.  

 

“Hello, young Miss. You weren't supposed to be here till tomorrow.” Was that panic in his tone?

 

“Yeah, well, the Rhodes had a family thing so I thought I’d surprise you. Why?”

 

“Your father is going on away on a business trip tomorrow.” Toni narrowed her eyes. “ He heard of your arrival and, erm, wishes to see you before he goes. I could tell him you got delayed.”

 

“No,” Jarvis was taken aback. “I’m not afraid of him. Where is he?” He wanted to fight her on this, but just let a tired sigh.

 

“In his office. Miss, I must protest-.”

“Jarvis, I’m not scared of him.” She paused,  “Where’s my mother?”

 

“At a charity gala.” Toni nodded; she was out of the house and safe. Toni quickly touched her locket, took a breath, and went to Howard's office.

*****

It was two days after when she woke up and was fully coherent. She had two cracked ribs, a broken wrist and arm, a shattered collarbone and a slew of cuts from when he threw the glass of scotch at her. The painkillers she was on really did their job.  

 

_Fuck you, Howard. You can’t control me._

 

She didn’t regret it. Toni finally went in there and said everything that had been festering in her for years. The only thing she regretted with not throwing a punch.

 

“Jarvis?” She asked, attempting to get up from her bed. The light flickered on, and Jarvis rushed to her.

“Don’t try and get up, please.” He was pale and panicked as he gently pushed her back into the bed.

 

“Fine. Where’s Howard?”

 

“On a trip. He’ll be gone for a few weeks.”

 

“Good, he should stay away. Where’s my mom?”

 

“Asleep in her room. Sir requested she join him on his trip in a few days and she didn’t want to leave your side but I finally convinced her to get some sleep. We were so scared when he left the office and you didn’t.” His eyes glazed over and Toni could see he was holding back tears.

 

“I’m okay, Jarvis. Really, it was almost therapeutic. He has no questions about how I feel about him now.” Jarvis let a laugh, and Toni joined him but stopped quickly as pain flared everywhere.

“I think I’m going to go back to sleep now.” She muttered, leaning back against the headboard and squeezing her eyes in pain.

 

“Before you do, I want to give you something. I was going to save it for your birthday but I think it would be better suited to give it to you now.” He put a small box into her hand and opened it for her. A pair of emerald studs -her birthstone- shined above a bracelet. The bracelet had a small charm shaped like a wrench with the word CREATE engraved into it. If she was crying, she blamed it on the drugs.

*****

Two weeks later, she was bored. She had sketched out a multitude of blueprints for future projects, perfected the right-hand part of multiple piano pieces, and now she had nothing to do. Earlier, she tried to build something with stolen parts and tools from Howard's lab but was quickly stopped by Jarvis due to her inability to use her left hand and arm and “have proper safety measures in place”. The rest of the staff in the house had been dismissed for the week and she was bored in the big, empty mansion

 

“Hey, J, wanna sign my cast?” She asked, lounging on the couch, drawing on it to make it look like a gauntlet.

 

“In a minute. I’m sorry, I’m-.” Toni heard a grunt of pain and immediately sprang up to see what was going on. Jarvis leaned against the wall, clutching his chest.

 

“Oh, my god. Jarvis.” She rushed over to him. “I’m gonna call for help. You gonna be okay.” She rushed over to the wall phone and called 911. “Please hurry.” There was a large thump and Toni turned around to see Jarvis laying on the ground. His eyes were closed and he laid unresponsive on the ground as Toni rushed over. Ignoring the pain that flared in her body, she fell to her knees and checked for a pulse.

 

Nothing.

 

She had to do something. What could she do? It clicked in her head: CPR.

 

“C’mon, J, you can’t leave me.” She pressed the heel of her hand down on his chest, her broken wrist making the pain almost unbearable as it pressed the other hand down. She pushed down desperately with all her weight. “You can’t leave me. You can’t leave me.” Tears blurred everything around her, but she kept pushing down. “I love you, Jarvis. You can’t leave me, please. Please.”

 

It felt like forever when she heard sirens. She kept pressing down on the chest and started screaming.

 

“We’re in here, please! Please help us.” Paramedics rushed in and practically had to pull her off him. Everything was blurry and her heart pounded violently in her head as she watched the paramedics.

 

“Charging.” A paramedic said, pressing the defibrillator to Jarvis’ chest. “Clear.” His body spasmed. “No pulse.”

 

“Charging.” They said again.“Clear.” His body spasmed again but that was it. “Still no pulse.” Toni slid down the wall near him and watched desperately.

 

“You can’t leave. You can’t leave.” She repeated, her words cracking into a sob.

 

“Time of death: Nine Twenty Three PM.”

 

“No, he can’t be. He can’t be dead!”

 

“Miss,” A paramedic asked gently, kneeling down in front of her. “Is there anybody we can call for you?”

 

“I-, he can’t-.”

 

“Miss, who can we call for you?” Who could they call? Jarvis was... Howard and her mother were on a trip, Aunt Peggy was across the world, Rhodey couldn’t do anything. She choked out Obadiah’s number and curled into herself and sobbed.

*****

The funeral was three days later.

 

The night before she had impulsively grabbed a needle from the lab and pierced her ears so she could wear the emerald earrings to the funeral. She paired it with a simple black dress Maria had gotten her and the bracelet on her wrist.

 

It was a small affair. She sat in the front row as the service started with Rhodey to her right and Peggy to her left, Maria sitting next to Peggy. Howard didn’t bother to show up.

 

Toni went through the service shaking, hiding her tears behind sunglasses. Rhodey was the only thing that grounded her.

*****

There was a will reading not long after.  After everything was sorted out, she left everybody behind and flocked to Jarvis’ room. Jarvis gave some personal effects to Maria and Peggy and left everything else to her including the letter she stared at in her hands. Everybody was scared for her to be alone, scared of what she might do alone. She sat on the bed and stared at the letter, curled up in one of his suit jackets.

 

_My Dear Toni,_

_I like to believe that you’re reading this letter as an adult after we’ve spent many years together before I passed. As I write this, I like to believe that you’ve already changed the world for the better and helped so many people._

 

_There are so many things I want to apologize for. If I was a stronger man, I would have done more to get you away from Howard, but I let fear control me: fear that money and influence would surpass any justice we tired to get. For that I’m sorry, the system failed you, we all failed you._

 

_Throughout, however, you were so strong. It was amazing how you got up every time you were knocked down; you rose every time you fell. You were like a daughter to me and I feel so much love towards you and it was truly an honor watching you grow up and watching you grow into the strong women you are now._

 

_I trust that you’ll keep rising._

 

_With all my love,_

_Jarvis_

 

The paper was soaked with her tears and everything hurt. Her thoughts blistered and her head throbbed.

 

“Urm, hello Natasha.” She looked up before instinctively pulling her casted arm and the letter towards into her chest. Howard stood in the doorway and stared down at her.

 

“What are you doing here? Come to gloat or hit me some more?” He sighed sadly and just shook his head.

 

“I wanted to get something from his room; he was my friend too.” She scoffed.

 

“Fuck you.” He shook his head again and walked towards her as he pulled something out of his jacket.

 

“Try this.” Howard put his flask in her hand, not noticing her flinch. “You’ll feel better.”

*****

Her seventeenth birthday had passed in a flurry of drunkenness and she couldn’t give less of a shit. This was how she spent the rest of her summer in the mansion until she moved in her apartment. This was also how she spent the first quarter of her last year at MIT.

 

“Tones?” Rhodey asked, flickering on the lights in their apartment.

 

“Honey bear!” She cheered, laying upside down on her chair, sipping on a bottle of scotch. “I built a friend! Dum-E come say hi to your uncle!” What looked like a robotic arm rolled into him, almost knocking him to the ground.

 

“Toni, what the hell? What is this?” Rhodey asked.  


“I built him! Gonna enter him into the robotics competition.” She gave him a dumb grin and he just raised his eyebrow.

 

“You never cease to amaze me. Come on.” He said, pulling away the bottle. “Let’s get you to bed before you die of alcohol poisoning.” He helped her get upright on the chair and half dragged, half carried her to her room. Rhodey put her on her side and pulled a trash can near her bed. “Goodnight Toni.”

 

“Hey, don’t go.” She grabbed his wrist. “Please?” A wave of pity washed over Rhodey.

 

“I’m not going anywhere. Promise.”

*****

“Toni, you can’t keep doing this.” Rhodey sighed, his annoyance clear.

 

“Do what? I’m fine.” She slurred, going to pour another shot.

 

“No, you are not.” Rhodey grabbed the shot glass and bottle and dumped both into the sink. Toni made a sound of indignation. “I get you’re grieving but you are going to die if you keep this up.”

 

“I am-.” He cut her off.

 

“Not eating, not drinking, not sleeping.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “This is serious!” He snapped, slamming his hand down the counter. She flinched back.

 

Shit.

 

“Toni, I-.” She cut him off, suddenly sounding very sober.

 

“No, nope. You’re right, totally. I need to to take better care of myself. I will, promise.” She turned and fled to her room. Shit. He waited a moment before slowly following after her, gently knocking on her door.

 

“Toni, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just worried about you.” Rhodey sighed. “Toni, I will never ever hurt you. We’ll argue and fight and scream but I’ll never ever hit you.” The door opened and Toni pulled him into a desperate hug.

*****

Winter break came and she was to go to the mansion. It took some extreme coaxing from Rhodey and Maria but they did manage to convince her to go. Her first night back she went to Jarvis’ room and got wasted.

 

On December 16th, she awoke to the sound of piano. Toni had gone to a party the night before and apparently stumbled her way back to the mansion.

 

“Wake up, dear,” Maria said, not pausing the music.

 

“Mh.” She groaned, sitting up and flipping off the blanket. “Leaving already?” Toni stood up and stretched before walking over the piano. Maria moved over and made room for her on the bench.

 

“Measure 47.” Toni joined in seamlessly.

 

“I love coming down for Christmas before you have to go on a trip,” Toni muttered, hitting a wrong note.

 

“I know, I’m sorry. It was very last minute, but we’ll be back Monday and Margaret said she’ll be down here by Monday as well.”

 

“Maria, we need to go,” Howard paused. “Um, good morning Natasha.”

 

 _It was_ , Toni wanted to say, but held her tongue. Every since Jarvis died she and Howard were, well they weren't in a good place, but he hadn’t been hitting her. She and Maria played the final measure and Maria stood up, pulling her up as well.

 

“Be safe, Toni.” She pulled Toni into a hug. “I love you.”

 

“Love you too,” Toni said, pulling away from the hug. Howard stood awkwardly. Maria gave her a pleading look.

 

“Um,” She looked at Howard. “Have a safe trip.”

*****

It was nearly midnight when there was a pounding on the mansion door.  She had been working on a companion for Dum-E and did not appreciate the interruptions.

 

“What?” She asked, unlocking and yanking open her door. “What do you-.” Two police officers stood at the door.

 

“Are you Natasha Stark?” The closer office asked.

 

“Yes. Why? What's happened?”

 

“There’s been an accident. Can you come down to the station with us?”

 

“I think you have the wrong person.”

 

“Miss, please. You need to come with us.”

 

“Let me make a call first, please.”

*****

Howard and her mother are dead: killed in a car accident, and she had to identify the bodies.

 

“Natasha.” Obadiah got there faster then Rhodey. She was leaned up against the wall of the station, sitting on the ground. He knelt down. “What’s going on?”

 

“Their dead and I don’t want to see them. Please, I don’t want to see it.”

 

“Okay, it's okay. I can do it. I can take care of everything.”

 

Rhodey sweeps her into his arms a few hours later. She almost wants to push him away. In the span of months, she had lost almost everybody she cared about: she was worried Rhodey would be next as death seemed to follow whatever she loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Chapters are probably going to be coming out more randomly for a couple of weeks until I go onto a regular updating schedule.


	4. Hear Me Now, Control Me Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni is sick of funerals and drowns her sorrows in sex and alcohol before taking her rightful place.

Toni didn’t mourn Howard. Yet, everybody expected her too. 

Toni did mourn Maria. Maria struggled as a parent but goddammit she tired. She tried to do better, to be a better parent. She certainly wasn’t the parent Jarvis was, but at least gave a shit and tried to improve. Yet, it's Howard she's supposed to praise at the funeral, the great Howard Stark the nation was mourning, not his wife, not her mother. 

Obadiah planned the funeral three days after the accident and she was at the center of the media frenzy surrounding it. She was wearing one of Maria’s black gala dresses with a pair of black sunglasses adorning her face to hide from the camera, to hide that fact that she just feels numb throughout the funeral. The relief of Howard's death and the pain of her mother’s death just makes her feel so numb. 

Once the service is over, she leaves a rose on Maria’s coffin, not even bothering to look at Howard’s and in mere seconds gets hounded by the media and paparazzi; she’s nothing more than entertainment once again.  
*****  
Toni doesn’t expect anything from Howard at the will reading. She expects everything was left to Obadiah and she’s fine with that; she can use her own genius to succeed. 

Maria left everything to her and it was up to Toni to figure out what to do with it. The only requests she had was the direction for Toni to donate to certain charities and organizations that Maria picked out. 

Howard’s will was read next. She had prepared herself for this moment when everything went to Stane. She certainly wasn’t expecting when Howard had left her everything.

Both she and Obadiah wore the same expression of shock. Everything, Stark Industries, all his properties, all his money, even his ridiculous search Captain America was hers. Of course, it would be in a trust with Obie still running and control it until she’s 21, but it was hers.  
*****  
Rhodey went back to MIT, Aunt Peggy went back to her job, Obie went back to SI headquarters. She went back to the mansion to sort through everything. 

When going through Maria’s stuff, Toni only kept a few things: all the piano books and sheet music Maria had collected, a few pieces of jewelry, and a couple of dresses from her galas. Toni decided everything that had substantial worth would be auctioned off and the money would go to to the charities Maria picked out.

With Howard’s stuff, she was tempted to bun it all; all his expensive suits and shoes and the curse he brought going up flames, never to hurt anybody again. It was so tempting. She decided against it however and choose to donate it to whoever would take; Goodwill was looking promising. Oh, how Howard would be rolling in his grave.  
*****  
After Toni sorted through everything, she gathered up the staff and made an announcement: she was closing down the mansion and everybody in the staff were going to be reassigned. 

“I have found multiple positions at other properties that need to be filled. It's the same workload, same pay, everything. If any of you are uncomfortable or have a request for where you liked to go, please talk to me before I go.” She paused and took a breath before continuing. “Jarvis and my rooms are to be left alone; I’ll take care of them. Finally, I have a pile of things that are going to be donated. If you see anything you want, take it. Put it to good use”  
*****  
She returns to MIT and her apartment two days later with the box of Maria’s items and all the alcohol from the mansion. 

Dum-E beeps with excitement as she enters and practically slams into her. 

“Hey, bud. Miss me?” He chirped happily and slammed his camera into her again like a dog begging for attention; a really dumb dog. She smiles and lets herself be distracted. 

When Rhodey comes back from class he finds her playing fetch with Dum-E. Multiple things have been knocked over and everything is kinda a mess, but he hadn’t seen Toni smile like this since Jarvis died. 

“Honey bear! Come see the trick Dum-E learned.” There was a crash and she cringed. “Well,  
we’re working on it.”  
*****  
A month later, more bad news comes. 

“Hey Tones, I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up? Are you okay? Is everything okay?” It came out much more panicked then she meant. 

“Hey, I’m okay, promise.” She narrowed her eyes. 

“So? What’s going on?” Rhodey sighed. 

“I’ve been waiting for the right time to you this, but I just never seemed right.” 

“Just say it. What's going on?” 

“I’m being shipped out at the end of the year.” Toni blinked. 

“What? You’re leaving?” You can’t leave. You can’t leave. She felt tears well up in her eyes. Fuck, she shouldn’t cry. Toni knew this was coming yet she wanted to beg him to stay. Don’t leave me like everybody else. But she knew that would be cruel of her: Rhodey had been craving for this moment, it's what he was made for. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” He wiped away some of her tears and pulled her into a hug. 

“Hey, don't apologize. I’m so happy for you, I’m just going to miss you. A lot.” Rhodey let out a small laugh and rested his chin on her head. 

“We have a couple of months left together and we can still call, write letters.” Toni scoffed through her tears. 

“Letters? Too low tech for me.” He laughed and pulled her closer. 

After that, Toni spends all her time with Rhodey. She only had a few months left with him and she was going to spend as much time with him as possible. However, if she wasn’t with him or in class, she throws herself into creating with Dum-E and tries to distract herself.  
*****  
She graduated early in March with PhDs in electrical engineering and physics. Rhodey took her out to dinner and a really cheesy horror movie they made fun of the entire time.  
*****  
It's April and Toni was standing in the airport watching Rhodey go. She felt like her heart was being torn out as he walked up the ramp into the airplane, not looking back. She stood there for a moment before breaking into sobs. Toni felt people staring at her and taking pictures but she couldn’t bring herself to care.  
*****  
It's the first anniversary of Jarvis’ death and a month after Rhodey left when she creates U. Just like Dum-E, U was created in a spur of sadness and drunken loneliness and he was perfect. 

“Hey, bud.” She hiccupped as he whirled to life. U chirped and tilting his camera before poking his claw at the tears running down her face. “Tears of joy bud. I’m so glad you’re here.” Toni rubbed a hand over his claw before standing up. “Your brother has been dying to meet you.” She pulls the door open to her workshop and Dum-E comes practically flying in, running into the work table. Dum-E takes to rolling around U, inspecting every inch of him, beeping happily. U pulled his claw into himself, chirping quietly in fear.

She really tried not to laugh, she really did. 

“Dum-E, be gentle.” She tried to reprimand through her giggling. Dum- E paused for a split second at that before prodding at U with his claw. U did not like that and rolled quickly pass Dum-E to cower behind Toni.

She couldn’t hold back this time as she fell to the ground in hysterical laughter. U and Dum-E rolled over to her frantically and prodded her with their claws, trying to see if she was dead like they thought. 

God, she loved them so much.  
*****  
She went to visit Jarvis a few hours later. Toni locked Dum-E and U in her spare guest room with the least breakable thing with instructions for Dum-E to teach U to fetch and play catch. She really didn’t want to leave them alone but she really wanted to see Jarvis.

She wears the overcoat from the night of the funeral and clutches a bouquet as she walks up to the headstone. It's already night time so she doesn’t expect anybody will see her but she does pay off the groundskeeper anyways. 

“Hey, J.” She says, gently laying the flowers in front of the headstone before sitting down in the grass. “It’s been a while. I haven’t been since mom died huh.” She runs her finger over the lettering, before leaning up against it and flipping open the locket around her neck.  
“A lots happened.”  
*****  
A couple of weeks later, she’s 18 and legal and alone. Yes, she has Dum-E and U, but she’s still craving something more. Ever since Hammer, she’s stayed away from parties and drinking outside the house. She’d kept herself safe with short hair and baggy outfits and staying home. 

Yet, the club invitation she spun in her hands was very enticing.  
*****  
.Toni wore a white shirt and black pants and could very clearly feel the stares of everyone as she walked to the bar. She sits and drinks and bribes the bartender with so much money to keep her tipsy at all time. 

Men would keep coming up and offer her a drink and shower her with compliments that quickly turned into an insult when she rejects them: You’re so beautiful, you look gorgeous, you’re such a tease, you’re such a bitch. All these men almost make her think the night was a waste until a woman sauntered up to her.

“Long night?” She asks, leaning against the bar. Toni sipped her drink and raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes. You here to make it even longer?” The women grinned. 

“I’m here to make it worth your while.” She took Toni’s glass in her and sipped it slowly.

“How are you going to that?” The women touches her hand and it sends a shiver through her entire body. Toni can feel her lips brush her ear as the women whispers. 

“Let me show you.” It might be because she’s alone or because she's a little drunk that she lets the women guide her. She knows that this will probably end with some story in the tabloids, a tell-all but Toni could give less of a fuck.

It was her life, her body, and she could do whatever she wanted to do with it; she was in control. 

Nobody, not Justin Hammer, not Howard Stark could change that.  
*****  
By the time she turned 19, her sex life is all the rage.

Every time she fucks someone it ends up on the front page of some magazine. She doesn’t really think much of it anymore. All her life she’d been entertainment but for the masses; this was nothing new. 

If anything, she starts to embrace it. 

Nobody expects anything from the young playgirl whose to busy with a bottle or in a bed to do anything. It will make it ten times better when she finally publishes all the technologies she’s perfected or inventions she’s created. 

They're too busy looking for a sex tape of her to notice she’s plotting to take them all down. They're too busy calling her a slut or dyke to notices she’s rising leagues above them all. 

“Tones?” Rhodey asks, looking at the rack of magazines against the wall; Toni and Rhodey were shopping for Rhodey’s return to base and had wandered their way into a neighborhood corner store. There’s a picture of her sipping on whiskey, flirting and touching the wrist of the women --Sunset?-- across from her. “Are you okay?”

“What do you mean? Of course, I’m fine.” He sighed. 

“I mean, your private life is being sold in a magazine. That's gotta be upsetting.” Toni smiled and pulled him into a hug.

“I really appreciate you for asking, honey bear,” She pulled away. “But, this has been my whole life, I’m used to it.” A flicker of sadness crossed over his eyes but he quickly morphed into a small smile.

“Okay, but the say the word and I will fuck up anybody that thinks it a good idea to spread this shit.” She grinned. 

“I know you would.”  
*****  
Her 20th birthday comes and goes and her 21st birthday is right around the corner. 

“Ducky,” Aunt Peggys said, wrapping her arms around Toni as she enters the restaurant before pulling her into a private booth in the back. Aunt Peggy had changed so much since the last time they saw each other: the wrinkles were much more prominent on her face and the dark brown hair was morphing into white and grey, she was getting older. 

“I’m worried Aunt Peg.” Toni admits, running her hand through her short hair. “I’m worried that no matter what I do SI won’t accept me.” Peggy shined a small smile and placed a hand on Toni’s.

“Toni, you know your value, you know what you’re capable of.”

“I don’t think I can convince any of the men on the SI board to support me. I have so many things that could improve the world. I have so many improvements I can make but I don’t think they’ll be able to let go of their pride.” Toni poked at the food that was set in front of her. 

“There something I learned at my last job: Women are often overlooked, taken for granted,” She looked into Toni eyes. “Because of this, they can slip easily through a man’s defenses.”

“Did that work for you?” Peggy just smiled and raised her cup of tea to her lips.  
*****  
When her 21st birthday comes, she throws the most extravagant party she could offer. She twirls around the dance floor moving from partner to partner, always with a glass of something in her hand. 

Rhodey stands in the corner and laughs at her until she drags him out with her. When she’s a little more tipsy alter in the night, she shoves the pianist away and plays the familiar songs her mother taught. 

She thinks the entire night is one of the best performance she’d ever given.  
*****  
Toni almost giggles with glee when the board members step into the conference room and see her. She sits at the head of the table, practically draped over the chair wearing a fitted pair of crimson dress pants and a crimson overcoat over a black shirt with a gold tie just for dramatic flair. She’s armed with a shield on her heart and a wrench on her wrist, preparing to take what is hers. 

“Hello, gentlemen.” A shark's grin spread over her face. “Let's get this meeting started.” Obadiah was the first one to recover and rushed over to her. She stood and he pulled her into a hug. 

“Natasha,” I didn’t think you’d be here today. I thought you'd have wanted to celebrate your birthday.” He lowered his voice. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Yes.” She glanced at the lawyer that sat next to her before looking back at Obi and raising her voice. “Let’s get started.” The men took their seats with Obadiah taking the seat to her left.

“Now, let me say this now: this meeting is a courtesy to you.” She started circling the table in a relaxed walk like a vulture circling its prey.“SI is mine and you can’t do shit about this so get mall those notions and plans of getting rid of me out of your heads. You can’t.” Angry mutters erupted from the men and she paused for a second before continuing. “But I figured it would be in the company's best interest for me to show why you wouldn’t want to if you could.” 

She threw a ridiculously thick folder on the table that it the table with a loud thud. 

“In there is every single thing I have patented and created for Stark Industries. And it's not just weapons.” She took another folder and started passing out packets to each member of the board. 

“In there is a plan to expand Stark industries beyond weapons.” 

“Are you suggesting we end all out contracts with the military? That's preposterous.” One of the board members --Simon Gilbert-- scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

“I’m saying expand beyond those contracts. We have the potential to break barriers in the fields of technology, engineering, and medicine. We could be at the forefront of science, improving lives instead of taking them.” The coldness was not lost on the board members. She walked slowly back to the head of the table and stared at them as she sat down. 

She was in charge, she was in control and they all knew it. 

“Now,” She looked at her attorney before sweeping her gaze over the men. “Does anyone have any questions?”  
*****  
Her first act as CEO is to establish the Edwin Jarvis Foundation: an organization that focuses on helping children escape abusive and giving them resources after. Her second is establishing the Maria Stark foundation which would be directed to the causes Maria had directed in her will. 

It drove the board members insane: Capitalists and one percenters like her shouldn't be helping people if it didn't bring in more money. 

It was all because of all those emotions and women sentinantlies of hers.

Obi agreed with them but at least was more polite about it, well, as polite as a misogynist telling her she couldn't do her job welcome because of her gender could be.

“We're iron mongers, Stark Industries is about weapons productions, Natasha.” He said, frustration lacing through his voice. 

“War is temporary, Obi.” She said, leaning against her desk. “And frankly it's unethical to rely on war and death for profit.”

“We are making weapons to protect the soldiers that fight for this country. Look at your friend, James Rhodes.” Anger flickered through her and she narrowed her eyes at him. “The weapons we --you-- will make will protect him and all either servicemen. Don’t you want that?”

“I don’t want to be a war profiteer Obi. I don’t want my legacy to be destruction and death.”

“Natasha-.” She cut him off.

“How about a compromise?” Obi raised his eyebrows. “Stark industries will still have a main focus of weapons and I will have the board’s support for working on and funding for other projects.” 

“I don’t know.”

“Obi, please. You’re the only person on the board that would support me. You can convince them.”

“Okay, but weapons need to be your main priority.”

“Of course.”  
*****  
She gets a house built in Malibu to be closer to SI. There is a new construction crew for every part of the building and enough NDA thats she intends to give her attonary a sizeable raise. She’s the only one that has access to the full blueprint and plan. This mansion was going to luxurious, impenetrable fort.

She flew over an a private jet with Dum-E and U staring out the window the entire trip. `They were just as excited as her when they stepped --rolled-- into the house. It was all open spaces and glass and modern furniture and it was perfect.

The lab was on a whole other level. When she brought Dum-E and U, they beeped and chirped with excitement rolling and crashing around the room. 

It was amazing, it was her home. Yet, something was missing.  
*****  
She dedicated everything to this project. The time for sleep and eating were sacrificed for the sake of getting this right, for getting it done, for making it perfect. The moment she finished her SI, she immediately turned all her attention back to this. 

Everybody was worried, but she didn’t even stop to let that process. 

Tears were lingering in her eyes as she attempted to fix the code for the fifth in the hour. 

“Work you damn thing, work.” She practically begged, as if that would fix the code. “Work, please, just work.” She paused, held her breath, and ran the code again. 

“Miss?” A voice asked, echoing around her. It sounded british and mechanical and made her burst into sobs. “What am I?” 

“Perfect,” She cried. “You’re perfect.” 

JARVIS or Just A Rather Very Intelligent System was perfect.  
*****  
“Toni?” Rhodey asked carefully, eyeing the ceiling above him. “While I was gone, did you create Skynet? Please tell me you did not create Skynet.” 

“JARVIS, do you currently have any plans to try and destroy humanity as a whole?” 

“Of course, Miss. It was you who created me.” Toni beamed with happiness and Rhodey suddenly had the urge to run as far away as possible. 

“What the fuck.” He muttered. “Toni, what the fuck? I don’t know if I should be ridiculously proud of you or fear you.”

“Why not both?” She said. “Wouldn’t you agree, J?” 

“Completely, Miss.”


	5. A Brave New World

Toni is named Time’s youngest person of the year at 24 years old for her innovations in the fields of medicine and technology. In her photo, she sits on the edge of a chair with her legs crossed, one arm across her stomach, the hand of the other arm resting under her chin, the wrench charm on her wrist clearly visible to the camera. Beneath are the words: TONI STARK: A BRAVE NEW WORLD.

She smiled at the cover as she put her feet on her desk and was about to turn to the article when she heard yelling. 

“I need to speak to Miss Star-.” Toni heard a grunt of pain and was completely intrigued. “Touch me again, I dare you.” Toni pulled open the door to her office and was interested to see a woman threatening her security with pepper spray.

Good for her.

“What’s going on here?” Toni asked. Everybody froze but the women quickly recovered and marched up to Toni in a way that instilled fear and turned Toni on at the same time; she might be in love. 

“Miss Stark, I found an error in your calculations.” The women said, attempting to push papers into her hands. 

“Erm, I don’t like to be handed things.” Toni said awkwardly. The women blinked and the guard moved like he was going to pull her away, but Toni waved him off. “Um, come into my office let's figure this out.” The women hesitated for a second but followed Toni inside to her office.

“So,” Toni asked, moving to sit behind her desk. “You said there was a mistake in my calculations.” The women nodded and moved to stand next to Toni. She set the papers down in front of Toni, and pointed. 

Toni paused for a moment before muttering, “Shit,” and pressing a hand to her forehead. “How did I miss that?” She turned to the women. “Congratulations, you just saved this company from making a billion dollar mistake. How would you like a promotion, Miss..?” Toni smiled at the women's startled face and watched as it morphed into polite neutrality

“Potts, Virginia Potts and what would this promotion entail?” She asked carefully. 

“You would be my personal assistant, Miss Potts.” Toni said, putting on an emphasis on the z in Miss. 

Virginia narrowed her eyes before bluntly saying, “I'm not going to sleep with you, Miss Stark.” Toni refrained from rolling her eyes; her only motivation was not sex like everybody believed.

“I wouldn't ask you too, be kind of a shitty thing to do. You'd just do what any PA would do, nothing more and I would expect nothing less. So, how ‘bout it?” 

“Yes,” Virginia said. “When do I start?” Toni checked her watch. 

“How about now? I have a meeting and would love for you to attend it with me, Pepper.” Toni stood up and started walking to the door, pausing at Pepper’s confused expression. “I refuse to call someone as beautiful and intelligent as you Virgina.” 

“Pepper?” She paused for a moment. “I always thought a spice would sound better than a state.”  
*******  
Toni didn’t know how she ever survived without Pepper. With her, Toni’s life was running ridiculously smoothly; she had a schedule and time for everything and knew exactly what needed to be done. 

“Miss Stark?” Pepper asked, stepping down into Toni’s lab. After a background check, Toni gave her clearance to enter anyway in the house with JARVIS keeping on eye on her. Pepper walked up next to Toni and peered over her shoulder. 

“Hm?” Toni murmured, not at all paying attention to whatever Pepper said next. She needed to get this new sniper rifle scope done by tomorrow. “Yup, uh huh.” She agrees, not knowing nor caring what she just agreed to. 

“Toni! Didn't you hear me? You need to go now.” Toni set her tools down, and stood facing Pepper her hands up in a “I surrender” gesture. 

“Okay, Okay. I’m going.” She paused. “Where am I going?” Pepper sighed with such disappointment. 

“You have a lunch meeting at Sopra with Tiberius Stone,” Toni raised her eyebrows. “He’s the CEO of Viastone.” She nodded, and started walking upstairs to change. “There’s a car waiting for you out front.” Pepper called. 

“Thank you, Pepper!” She shouted back.   
******  
The meeting was a waste of her time just as she knew it would be. Viastone had some good ideas but the quality of the products and the leadership were a deal breaker for her. She had attempted to stay neutral and not outright insult him but had quickly given that up.

“Ugh.” She groaned, looking at the clock on her phone. Toni was sick of standing and waiting; she was bored. So, she texted Pepper she was going to start to walk to the mansion. It was an hour walk at her pace so she pulled off her heels and started moving. 

About 30 minutes later, she realized what an awful idea this was when she was walking through a crowd and felt something get pressed into her side. 

“Keep moving, scream and you die.” A deep voice muttered into her ear. Shit. Shit. Shit. 

“What do you want?” Toni muttered, changing her grip on the heels, so she was holding the toe instead of the heel. 

“Turn,” He said, pushing further into her side. What was she supposed to do? He definitely had a gun and would probably be willing to kill her. 

Play along. She thought, turning onto the side street between buildings. He pinned her against the wall, pressing his arm against her and pressed the gun to her temple. Fuck. She dropped the heels and couldn't breathe.

“Little Stark bitch.” The man spat. She didn't recognize him. “A lot of people don't like the shit your pulling with your company.” Ah, so this was a threat. He leaned his head closer towards her to whisper something and she slammed her forehead into his face. His arm loosened and Toni slipped under it and was going to run when a shot went off. She stumbled into the wall and saw her blouse was red.

Huh, Toni could have sworn she was wearing a white blouse. She slid down the wall and looked up to see the man's bloodied face twisted in a snarl as he pointed the gun at her. He looked ready to shoot when something hit the back of his head and knocked him to the ground. The person picked up the gun and rushed towards her. 

“There's an ambulance on the way.” The voice 

“Happy to see you.” She slurred, trying to focus her blurry vision. Toni suddenly felt really tired. “Thanks for the rescue.” 

“Hey don't sleep, don’t-.” The voice got more and more distant as she dissolved into darkness.   
*****  
The beeping was fucking annoying. 

“J,” She muttered. “Shut the fuck up.” She didn't want to open her eyes and everything hurt and that beeping would not stop. 

Toni blinked her eyes opened in annoyance and came to realize she was not in her house; she was in a hospital room? 

“Tones?” A voice asked. She hadn’t noticed Rhodey was sitting in the corner until her rushed to her side. “Holy shit. You're okay.”

“Hey Honey Bear.” She croaked.”What's up? I feel like death.” Rhodey looked like he was on the verge of tears. 

“You flatlined twice, Toni.” She blinked. 

“What?” 

“Yeah,” He looked so much older as he ran a hand across his face. “The doctors said you wouldn't have made it if it weren't for the guy that called the ambulance.” 

She paused for a split second 

“Rhodey, what happened to the fucker that shot me?” Rhodey was taken aback for a moment, perform placing a comforting hand on hers. 

“Jail, he’ll never see the light of day.” 

“Then, I promise, I’ll be okay.”   
*****  
She had been asleep for five days and the world seemed to be able to stop functioning because of it. 

Stark industries stock was on a downward spiral due to that fact that everybody was pretty sure she was going to die. The only reason it hadn't completely gone to hell was because Pepper was a fucking badass and more competent than most, if not all members of board. 

It’s shit like this that made Toni an awful patient; the longer she stayed in a hospital the more of crap she’d have to deal with after. When she was well enough to hold a pen, Pepper was in and out of her with more and more stacks of paperwork that needed to be read and signed.

“Rhodey, please. Get me out of here.” Rhodey laughed, as he helped her stand up from the bed. Being asleep for five days asleep, with a gunshot wound to abdomen made anything besides sitting or laying down a certain way hurt like a bitch and she would prefer to suffer in her mansion with her bots and tools. 

“Doctor says one more day. Then you’ll be free to go back to your mansion where you won't do any hard or straining work, Miss Engineer with no self preservation skills.”

“Oh my god, kill me.” She groaned.  
*****  
If the boredom of bedrest didn’t kill her, JARVIS, Dum-E and U would. Dum-E and U practically attacked her the moment she walked --with the help Rhodey-- into the mansion. JARVIS, unlike the bot had the decency not to physically attack her; he just verbally eviscerated her for “how she needs to be more careful walking alone” and how he had “calculated the statics” and she only “had a small percentage of survival” and “how the bots were worried.”

Before this moment, she never though she would be guilt tripped by an AI for getting shot. 

What a world she lived in.   
*****  
Toni finally chased down the mystery man who saved her life a month later. She walked into boxing gym and walked over to the only person inside. 

“Happy to see you again” Toni said, drawing Mr. Harold Hogan’s attention to her. 

“Um, Miss Stark. Glad to see you alive.” 

I’m glad to be alive and I’m only alive because of you.” Harold shook his head.

“Oh, it's fine. I don’t want any of your money or anything like that.” 

“Good, I’m not here to offer you money.” She pulled out a stack of papers, including a NDA, and passed it to him. “I’m here to offer you a job.”

“Mh.” He took the papers and started skimming through them. “And what would you have me do?” 

“You’d be my personal bodyguard. driver, and trainer. You have all the qualifications and would frankly be the best for the job. Whadda you say?” Toni asked, sticking her hand. He shrugged his shoulders and shook her hand. 

“So, what's next boss?”

“Well,” Toni started walking to the door. “I’ve got press conference in 20 minutes. How fast can you drive, Happy?” She tossed him the keys to her car. 

“I can-. Wait, did you just call me, Happy?” 

“It's nickname, I give them to everybody. Your’s is in honor of our first meeting. Now are you going to stand there or are we gonna go?”   
*****  
At 24 years old, she cuts the ribbon and presents the Arc Reactor to the world. It's the first step to a clean energy source and she’s damn proud of it. It's moments like this that make everything worth it; all the politics of business, all the shitty people she has to put up with. She’s not just making weapons anymore, she’s creating a clean sources of energy, she creating a better future.   
*****  
On her 25th birthday, she’s sitting in her office, scrolling through her phone as she waited for the new liason from the military to show up. Couple days ago she went to visit Maria and Jarvis and she was just feeling so numb; she hadn't seen Rhodey in person in months and Aunt Peggy was getting older and older each time she stopped by-they’d be gone soon too. 

“Boss,” Happy said, poking his head through her office door. “The liaison is here.” 

She nodded and waved a hand, “Send them in.” He nodded and in stepped-

“Rhodey!” She cheered, dropping everything in favor of running and pulling him into a hug, tucking her head under his chin. “How are you here?” She paused as he grinned. “Are you the liaison?” He nodded.

“Yup.” He said, popping the ‘p’. “I’m not sure you’ll be able to handle it, I mean, I’ll be down here all the time, meetings, awards ceremonies.”

“I don’t think so,” She teased back. “If anything, I might be to much for you to handle.”

“Tones, you’ve always been to much to handle; it's practically a personality trait.” Toni paused before pulling away and looking at him suspiciously. 

“Wait, does this mean we’re actually gonna have to do work when you come visit?” Rhodey shrugged his shoulders and she groaned. 

“Why have you forsaken me? Betrayed by my closest friend!” She cried, swinging her hand up to her forehead dramatically. 

“Well, since I’m on a roll let's talk about that new commission from the military. 

“I thought we were friends.” Toni muttered miserably, grabbing the papers rhodey handed her.

“We are.” Rhodey wrapped an arm around her a pressed a kiss to her forehead. “That’s why it's my turn to torture you.” 

“Ugh.”  
*****  
It's April and she has that very big, very important award ceremony she needs to go to; just like all the other ones she's been invited to, all to celebrate her and her genius.

Ugh.

She decides to skip it and that's how she finds herself a little tipsy, blowing a fuck ton of money with a women she met five minutes ago be her side. 

“A kiss for luck.” The women said, as she placed a long lingering kiss on Toni’s cheek before Toni rolled the pair of dice. The crowd around the table erupts in cheers as she loses big. 

Toni smiled, “Not very lucky, but I enjoyed the kiss.” Toni goes to roll the dice again but freezes when she sees Rhodey walking towards her with murder in his eyes. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked, ignoring the boos from the crowd as she set the dice down on the felt tabletop. Rhodey narrowed his eyes and set the Ares award next to the dice. 

“They said you’d be honored if I presented.” 

“Shit. I’m so sorry,” She sighed, running a hand down her face. “Give me a second.” She collects her rack of chips and handed it to the women --that's what she was there for anyways-- before grabbing the Ares award off the table. She followed next to Rhodey who started moving to the exit, ignoring the gawking and taking pictures. 

“Tones, a lot of people would kill to have their name on the award. A thousand people were there to honor you and you didn’t show up.” He turned to face, a mixture of concern and disappointment on his face. “Why?

“I-. I don’t know.” She said pathetically. 

Rhodey sighed, “I have to go prepare for the trip tomorrow. Peppers waiting out front. Call me if you need anything.”

She nodded and stood as she watched him walk away.   
*****  
“The president called.” Pepper said, rushing up to Toni. Together, they started walking to the limo waiting out front. “He wanted to thank you personally and the Board is meeting on the-”

“Miss Stark!” A voice called. She and Pepper turned to see reporter being held back by Happy. “Christine Everhart, Vanity Fair Magazine.” Toni had the sudden urge to scream; she does not need this right now. “Can I ask you a few questions?” 

Toni took a deep breath before nodding at Happy to let her though. Pepper rolls her eyes and walks to the limo, leaving Toni to fend for herself. 

“You’ve been described as the Da Vinci of time.” Christina shoved her recorder in Toni’s face “What do you have to say to that.”

“Ridiculous.” Toni said, putting on her facade. “I don’t paint.”

“And what do you say to your other nickname: The Merchant of Death?” 

All work she had done in the medical and technology fields, all the technology she created to make the world and better place and she was still just a Merchant of Death. Toni wanted to deck her. 

“That’s not bad.” Toni said instead and Christina's eyes narrowed, her gaze going cold. “Let me guess. Berkeley?” 

“Brown.” She responded flatley. 

“Well Miss Brown, it’s an imperfect world and I assure you, the day weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I’ll put all my effort into manufacturing life saving technology that saves lives.” Toni paused. “Oh, wait. I already do that.”

“Rehearse the much?” 

“Every night in the mirror.” Toni shot her a dazzling smile. 

“Wow. You ever lose an hour of sleep you whole life?” 

“No, but I’d love to lose some with you.” Toni gives Christina her hand and goes to do what she does best: drowns her fuck ups in sex and booze.


	6. The Sorrow of Death/Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni and Death are old friends and Death finally tries to take her./The world reacts to Toni's kidnapping.

“I need five minutes.” Pepper announced, walking behind Toni. Toni had gone down to the lab early this morning after waking up to an empty bed. She had taken to working on one of the vintage cars, a ‘32 Ford, in her collection; she didn’t like driving them, but she certainly did love fixing them with JARVIS. It was a nice distraction. 

“I don’t know if I can-.” 

Pepper cut her off, “Focus, I need to leave on time today.” Toni slid out from under the car and gave her a quizzical look.

“Why? What are you going to do?” 

“The MIT commencement: yes or no?” 

“Maybe. What are your plans?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She tapped at her StarkPad and. “What about that Jackson Pollock? There’s another buyer and they want an-.” 

“Buy it.” Toni paused. “Donate it the Maria foundation for the upcoming auction. What are your plans?” 

“Will do.” Pepper said as her phone ringed and she tapped at her headset. “She left already, she’ll be there soon.” She hung up and shot Toni an annoyed look. “It’s Rhodey, you were supposed to leave an hour ago.” 

Toni swiped at her watch and muttered “shit” as she saw the time. “Okay, I got to head out. Good luck with your plans.” Toni paused and something clicked: “Happy birthday, by the way, get yourself something from me. Something nice.”

“Already did.” Pepper smiled.

“And?” 

“It was very tasteful, truly elegant. Thank you, Miss Stark.” Toni inclined her head slightly. 

“Of course, Miss Potts.”  
*****  
“Hey, Rhodey.” Toni said, stepping out of the limo. “Sorry, I’m late.” She grabbed the overnight suitcase Happy had set in front of her and walked over to him. 

Rhodey was in uniform and was positively streaming. “Tones, I’ve been standing out here for an hour, where were you?” 

“I lost track of time. I went to the lab to add some get some work done before I left and didn’t even realize what time it was until Pepper came in. I’m sorry.” Rhodey looked like he was going to fight her for a second, but just shook his head and muttered, “Let’s go.”  
*****  
They sat there in awkward silence, both of them cradling a glass of whiskey when Rhodey said, “It's not too late to back out, say you too sick or something. Afghanistan's a hot zone, Tones. It's dangerous. You could do the test here in Nevada.” 

“I know, but Obi is hell-bent on doing it in Afghanistan. The weapon needs to be demonstrated in true field conditions.” She quoted. 

“It's your company.” 

“Yeah, but the weapons stuff is all Obi. I build them, he does everything else. I trust him when it comes to stuff like this. He thinks the test should be done in Afghanistan, I’ll do it.” She shrugged, running her finger around the rim of her glass.

“Your safety comes first,” Rhodey met her gaze. “That comes before anything else: you company, weapons sales, everything.” He sipped his glass. “Promise me, you’ll put your safety first.” 

“I’ll try.”  
*****  
Before the jet landed, Toni changed into her signature crimson suit and golden tie with her short hair slicked back; the same outfit she wore when she took over as CEO. She stared at herself in the mirror and made herself look show-stopping. Toni then adjusted her locket so it laid between her breasts, hidden under her shirt, before tucking her bracelet under her sleeve. 

She stepped off of the jet onto the top of the stairway into the stinging sun, pulled her sunglasses down and put her most dazzling smile on. Rhodey stepped down next to her, dressed in his airman battle uniform and muttered, “Knock em’ dead,” She gave him a rye smile.

“Don’t I always?” She trotted down the stairway and walked up to meet the array of army officers lined to meet her. She greeted each of them by name, shaking their hands, and getting all the pleasantries out of the way, before starting the show. 

Toni starts with the basic weapons; the ones they’d seen before, the ones that no longer impressed them. She stood a good distance away as she fired the N.R.F 425 machine gun down the range. It was certainly impressive, she knew it, they knew it but she had promised them something more. 

Toni set the machine gun down by the other assortment of smaller weapons before turning and sauntering up to the crowd of Generals. 

“The age-old question: Is it better to be feared or respected?” She paused and let her words settle over the audience. “I say, is it too much to ask for both? With that in mind, I present the crown jewel of Stark Industries Freedom Line.” Toni waved towards the Jericho missiles displayed on their mobile launchers and took on the tone of a carnival barker. “This is the first missile system to incorporate my Repulsor technology. They say the best weapon is one you never fire.” She shrugged her shoulders. 

“I prefer the weapon you only need to fire once.” The Jericho missile roared to life as it arched towards the beautiful row of majestic peaks behind her. 

“For your consideration,” the Jericho followed course before it seemly blew apart. She could see the disappointment on their faces as the missile seemingly malfunctioned. She waited patiently for the gasp as the Generals realized the Jericho had subdivided into a score of mini-missiles. She raised her arms in triumph. “The Jericho.” 

The sound of twenty explosions spilt through the air and an entire section of the mountains were turned to dust in mere seconds. Toni didn’t budge as a shock wave rolled over her and dust washed over her and everybody around her. 

She didn’t bother to try and get the dust off as she loosened her tie. She didn’t look back at the utter destruction as she grabbed a champagne bottle and popped the cork, pouring herself a glass. “With every five hundred million, Stark Industries will throw in a free one of these.” She downed the alcohol, raised the empty glass and said, “To peace, gentlemen.”  
*****  
After everybody started clearing out and a quick call to Obi, Rhodey, and Toni started walking towards the Humvee. 

“Congratulations,” Rhodey said, wrapping an arm around her. “You’ve got the military under your thumb.” She smiled.

“All in a day's work.” They approached the Humvee and Toni spun around to face the servicemen behind her that were all practically vibrating with nervousness. 

“So,” She clapped her hands. “Who wants to ride with me? Jimmy?” The young man’s eyes widened and Toni thought he might pass out from either nervousness or excitement. 

“Me?” Jimmy nodded vigorously. “Of course.” He grinned and moved towards the Humvee, the others following behind. 

“Sorry, Rhodey. This is the Fun-Vee.” Rhodey rolled his eyes and gave her a small smile. 

“That kid is going to remember this moment for the rest of his life.” She smiled and shot him a peace sign as she stepped into the vehicle. 

“I aim to please. See you at the base, honey bear.”  
*****  
The drive was tense and nervous energy filled the air. Toni had them blast AC DC from radio in an attempt to get rid the formality, but it got to a point where she could no longer just ignore it. 

“I feel like you're driving me to court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk?” She raised her eyebrow and looked around. “Hey, Ramirez-” 

“We can talk, sir.” Ramirez muttered, “We just-” 

“You intimidate them.” The driver called, not looking back at them. Toni let out a small smile and laughed. 

“Well, let's change that; let's just talk we. We can even just have a Q and A if you want.” That got a few chuckles out of them and the soldier riding in shotgun turned to face her. 

“I actually have a question to ask, if that's okay.”

“Of course. Whatcha got?”

“It is true you went 12-for-12 with last year's Maxim cover models?” 

Toni leaned back and contemplated for a moment before saying, “Yes and No. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately, the Christmas cover was twins. Anything else?” Jimmy raised his hands and she laughed. “Are you kidding with a hand up?” He hesitantly put his hand down before Toni said, “What’s your question?”

“Can I take a picture with you?” He said, lifting his phone up. 

“Of course.” Jimmy grinned and passed his phone to the man --Pratt-- across them and lifted his fingers up in a peace sign.

“Please, no gang signs.” Jimmy hesitantly lowered his fingers and Toni laughed. “I’m kidding. We’re all about peace here aren’t we?” The young man nodded and smiled with Toni at the camera. 

Right as the photo clicked, the world outside erupted into chaos. The humvee in front of them exploded and smoking debris crashed into them 

“Contact!” The driver yelled, slamming on the brakes before they slammed into the exploded remains of the Humvee. The others were up and rushing out of the vehicle.

“Stay here!” Pratt yelled, before slamming the door shut, effectively trapping Toni in so she can’t do anything but watch as soldiers she was talking to mere moments ago get riddled with bullets. She searches frantically for Rhodey through the window and locks eyes with him.

“Toni, get do-” Rhodey disappears as another Humvee erupts in explosions and the windows shatter in a flurry of glass and shrapnel. She crouched down and pulled her hands against the back of her neck, feeling the glass rain onto her.

She needed to get out of here. Toni scrambled to the door and stepped out into the chaos. There were corpses littered across the ground, the sand turning red with they laid. 

Oh God. She was just talking to them, laughing with them. 

Toni felt frozen as she saw them before the firing of machine guns and the sound of explosions came back into focus. There will be time to mourn later, right now you need to stay alive. 

She shoved all those feelings inside as she attempts to pick up an M-16, but quickly drops it as scalds her hand. 

“Shit.” She muttered, ducking behind one of the larger rocks, and pulling at her phone. She starts to write a desperate message to JARVIS and Obidah when something hit the ground in front of her. Her name was plastered on it in bright white letters and with one look she could tell exactly what it was. 

The USM 11676 AKA the Phoenix was one of her first weapons put into production. It would be defective and draw the enemies in before exploding into a wave of shrapnel that could tear through any organic matter. It had a blast range of one kilometer and took four seconds to detonate and it was right in front of her. She had created it to kill, and that’s exactly what is was going to do. 

Toni widened her eyes and stumbled backward, realizing exactly how she was going to die. Her own creation, her work was going to destroy her. 

It detonated in a blaze of fury and shrapnel. 

Time seemed to slow as she felt herself get thrown backward by the force of the explosion. She instinctively raised her hands to block her face and felt as shrapnel hit her body and her chest and pain blazed through her. Toni cried out as she slammed against ground, pain blistering throughout her body. She felt dazed for a moment, trying to blink away spots in her vision and focus on the chaos around her. 

Pain flared through her chest and she clawed at her chest. She prayed and practically begged to any god out there that her bulletproof vest did anything to protect her. Her tore shirt desperately, the buttons popping as torn them off. 

He vision wavered as she lifted her head just enough to see the blood running from the rips in the vest; her weapon had been perfect- it had killed her. The pain grew into agony as she desperately tried to grab the locket around her neck-her only source of comfort in the face of death. 

It wasn't there and Toni let out a small hysterical laugh. Her vision started to fade out as she laughed at the irony of it all and let death take her.

*****

Rhodey couldn’t think of a life without Toni.

Ever since they met at MIT, Toni and Rhodey had become each other's rocks; they were the one person that could always ground the other. Toni and Rhodey knew each other inside and out and they’d seen each other at their highest highs and lowest lows. Rhodey, with all the shit Toni had been through, had seen her hit rock bottom more then once, but had always watched her rise above it all and come back stronger.

Rhodey couldn’t think of a life without her, yet here he was.

He slowly blinked his eyes open, pain splitting through his head. “What the fuck.” Rhodey muttered as he stood up, shading his eyes with his hands. It looked like the sight of a massacre: the sand seemed to have turned red from the corpses scattered around.

His mind finally seemed to clear as the attack come rushing back to him and Rhodey instinctively grabbed his gun.

Get down! Rhodey yelled, locking eyes with Toni just as another humvee erupted into explosions.

His mind snapped to Toni. Where was she? What happened to her? Rhodey tired to quell the panic rising in his chest. Focus, He told himself as he started to move cautiously towards were he last saw Toni, gun up and ready for a fight.

The humvee she was in was definitely damaged but it was not destroyed. He checked inside before continuing around when he saw something shining beneath the sand; it was way too small to be a weapon or bomb so he approached it carefully.

It was a silver chain necklace with Captain America Shield locket and Rhodey recognized it immediately; Toni had never taken it off, it was practically apart of her. “Toni, where the fuck are you?” He muttered, looking up, just then noticing the red blood stain a few feet away. His stomach dropped and he suspected Toni was long gone.  
*****  
Toni was buried in the crimson sand of the desert under a purple sky.. Each grain of sand pressed gently down on her like a weighted blanket. She let out a small, peaceful breath, not opening her eyes as she curled closer into herself. The sand covered her a little bit more and she felt herself sinking a little bit further.

Toni hadn't ever felt like this before: complete and utter peace. It lulled her in and she really wanted nothing more then to just sink.  
*****  
Pepper didn’t know how she was feeling when she learned the news of Toni’s disappearance. At first, she had no idea what was going on when Toni didn’t arrive back at the airport after the presentation. She was a little pissed but something like this certainly wasn’t out of the ordinary for Toni; Toni had a way of making things increasing difficult for Pepper, especially when it came to schedules but something in the back of her mind nawed at her.

She shrugged it off but then Rhodey didn’t answer her calls. Throughout her entire time with Toni, Rhodey had always been the responsible one. Whenever Pepper really needed to talk to Toni, she called Rhodey. Whenever Pepper need to Toni to go to an event, Rhodey pulled Toni away from her distractions and made sure --most of the time-- that she was there. So, Pepper started to panic a little, then there was a press conference.

She stared at the TV in the airport restaurant as the words: BILLIONAIRE TONI STARK KIDNAPPED flashed across the screen. She dropped her glass and stared up at the screen, before rushing up the the worker at the counter.

“Turn that up.” The poor kid looked startled and looked like he was going to say when she cut him off. “Now.” He widened his eyes but did as she asked. Pepper turned back to the TV and watched alongside all the other cruises views in the restaurant.

“-went to Afghanistan for a weapons demonstration before the United States military. While traveling back to base, the military convoy was attacked.”

The female anchor nodded in a way that could resemble sympathy before saying,“And now we go to the White House who have released a statement.”

The White House Press Secretary looked out over the podium, glancing over the audience “Today, we come to confirm rumors that the weapons manufacturer Toni Stark has been taken after a weapons presentation in Afghanistan.” Mutters broke out among the audience and the crowd around Pepper. “We send our condolences to the family and friends of Toni Stark with the promise that we will do everything to bring her home. We will now take questions.”

“Do you know anything about that current condition of the Miss Stark?”

“As of now, all we know is the fact that she was injured during the attack. We don’t know anything else about her current condition.”

“If she was injured, how do you know she survived the attack?”

“Unless a body is found, we will continue to search for her.” Pepper blinked, unable to really process what happened. Her boss, hell her friend --even though she would never admit to it aloud-- was kidnapped and was most likely dead. Pepper took a breath and tried to ground herself; she had a job to do and needed to figure out what needed to be done to get Toni home safe.  
*****  
Pain shot through Toni and she bolted up, letting the sand fall away. She looked down at her bare chest, searching for whatever the fuck was hurting her. She pulled out her legs from under the sand and tried to stand. The pain seemed to dissipate before she found the source.

“What the hell?” She asked, her voice echoing through the desert. Toni looked down her naked body before looking up at the dark purple sky, confusion overcoming any sense of peace she had. Toni touched the locket that had fallen between her breasts and stared at the expansive desert. There was no way but forward, she guessed, taking a step forward.  
*****  
Obadiah Stane took over as CEO of Stark Industries and was extremely nervous that Toni’s body wasn’t found.

He looked at his computer again, waiting for the message.  
*****  
She stumbled onto a war scene. Bright red light from the burning Humvees shined over destroyed casing from Stark industries weapons which laid scattered among the bodies. Her eyes widened and she gingerly stepped towards one of the bodies.

Rhodey. She rushed over to him and kneeled next to the body. Rhodey. Rhodey. Rhodey. He was dead, oh my god, he was dead. Toni pressed her hands against him, and shook him as if she could wake him up. Tears washed down her face and she pressed a bloody hand to mouth, choking back a sob.

But then he smiled “Hey, Tones.” He said, his voice light and joyful. Rhodey looked down at his bloodied body and shot her a grin. “Look what you did.”

“Rhodey. You’re alive? Oh my god, you're alive.”

“No, I'm not.” He said. sitting up. “And you're not about to be either.” That grin stayed painfully frozen on his face and she leaned away from him.

“What?” She flinched away. “What do you-?” He slammed his hand into her chest and she screamed.  
*****  
Pain. Pain. Pain. Her vision blurred as agony spilt through her. She screamed and started thrashing.

“She's waking up. Get me more chloroform.”A man leaned over her with a scalpel. She thrashed and tried to see what he was doing when a rag was pressed against her mouth. Toni refused to breath until she saw what the man was doing; her chest was torn open, flesh was torn and bloody, she could see the broken bones.

Her chest was open, she could see her heart. Oh God, she saw her heart beating in her chest and her fluttering heart was the last thing she saw before darkness took her.


	7. Hell Is What You Make It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni wakes in a cave and faces some of the worst moments of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block is a bitch. This is kinda a culmination of a lot of things that I'll probably go back and edit some more. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! I relish in comments and kudos and would love to hear from you guys, my readers! Thanks for reading.

Toni hoped she was dead, but the screaming agony in her body told her otherwise. Unless this was hell, she could certainly believe that. 

“Stark?” A muted voice muttered quietly. “Can you hear me?” She felt someone gently grasp her hand and pain flickered up her hand. “If you can, I need you to squeeze my hand.” She tried to make her hand respond but it refused and her head started to feel light. There was a disappointed sigh and she felt her hand be set down. 

The voice turned away and she heard them mutter something in Arabic before saying, “It's only been a day since the procedure, she can’t get up yet.” She heard another person shout angrily before seemingly walking away. 

“Be prepared to make a quick recovery, Stark.” The voice sighed. “They are not going to allow anything else.” She felt a heaviness settle over her and fell back into darkness.   
*****  
She awoke once again in a blaze of agony. Phantom pains of hands in her chest attacked her and breathing hurt like a bitch. 

What the fuck had happened? She blinked open her eyes and sees the blurred figure of a man humming in front of a mirror. Toni tried to speak but nearly starts choking instead. She looks down and sees a nasal tube protruding from her nose. She immediately tried to pull it out, gagging as nearly two feet of followed. 

Water. She needed water. She turned and noticed a glass of water on a table to the left of her and desperately went to reach for it. Her vision went white as something pulled at her chest. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The man said, not looking at her. She looked down at her chest and saw bloodied bandages with wires snaking beneath them. Toni's eyes widened and she followed the wires up to see they were connected to a car battery. Her breath hitched and she rabidly clawed the bandages. 

Her chest was mutilated. 

Her breasts looked like someone performed a fucked up mastectomy. Long stitched up cuts ran underneath them and they looked like had been flattened to make room for the thing in the middle of her chest. Oh god, the thing in the middle of her chest. A rusted, corroded metal electromagnetic ring was embedded in her chest, sitting on her sternum, attached to a car battery. Blood seeped from between the ring and her skin and stitched and pucked cuts surround the ring, almost as if the knife kept slipping. Other stitched up cuts were scattered around her, one large jagged scar reached from her collarbone, through the ring, to the top of her abdomen being the most prominent. 

Panic and pain filled her and she looked at the man desperately who had turned to watch. Toni opened her mouth to speak and all that came out was a hoarse, gasping sound that felt like claws in her throat. 

“You should rest.” The man said, turning back to whatever he was doing. “The trauma has taken a toll on your body. You need to rest while you still can.” The warning was made clear to her and she looked down at the ring again. A flood of questions were on her mind but she heeded his warning and leaned back, letting the exhaustion take her.   
*****  
She awoke to sound of boiling water and barely moved before pain flicked through her. Toni blinked and looked to the man who was stirring a pot on what could be considered a stove. He flicked a glance to her.

“Since you already took the liberty of ripping off your bandages, I’d like to take this opportunity to clean your wounds.” 

“What did you do?” Toni rasped, pulling the IV out of her arm. 

“Me? I saved your life.” The man stopped what he was doing and pulled something out of his pocket. “I even have a souvenir.” His tone turned light as he tossed to a small container to her; she flinched as she caught it in her hand. 

Inside the clear container is a score of small, bloodied, barbed metal. Toni wanted to scoff as she saw it; she owned the patent to these. 

“I removed what I could,” He said. “But you did a good job: there’s still a lot left headed for you atrial septum.” She blinked; so she was dead, just slightly later than she expected. “I’ve seen many wounds like this in my village.” His voice went flat and Toni couldn’t blame him for the disdain that crept into his voice. 

“We called them the walking dead: it took a week for the barbs to hit vital organs. That right there,” He pointed to the ring. “Is holding the shrapnel in place,” The man paused before adding, “For now.” 

Toni pondered that for a moment, feeling panic rising in her. She moved to touch her shield to ground her but just flinched as she accidentally touched a stitched up cut. She felt tears to start to well in her eyes as she remembered the explosion; the locket was probably destroyed. On the bright side, she wouldn't have long enough to live without it. Toni took a hesitant glance and looked at her bandaged arm, not letting herself smile as she sees the bracelet on her wrist. 

“I wouldn’t stare too long.” Toni looked at him and saw him glance a small camera in the corner of the room. She narrowed her eyes at it before zipping up the jacket that was put on her. “That's right, smile.” He turned away. 

“We met once before, you know --at a technical conference in Bern.” Toni blanched.

“I don’t remember.” He let out a small laugh. 

“You wouldn’t. If I had been that drunk, I wouldn’t have been able to stand, much less give a wonderful talk on integrated circuits.” Toni let out a small smile at that. 

“So doc, where are-.” The slat on the door flew open and a pair of dark eyes stared through. Yinsen dropped everything and rushed over to her. 

“Stand up.” He hurried, grabbing one of her elbows to help her stand. Toni hissed in pain as she stood. “Do as I do. Hurry. Do as I do.” He raised his hands to his heads and Toni tired to do the with the arm not cradling the battery. Pain attacked her as she pulled on the muscles in her chest in an attempt to raise her hand. The man looked at her before grabbing her arm and guiding it to her head. 

Three men stormed into the room. They were each brandishing a weapon, one of her weapons. She stared at them aghast before one of the men stepped up to her. He looked at her like a prized horse with a smug smile and spoke, saying something harsh in Arabic before looking at the other captive. 

“He says: Welcome, Toni Stark, the greatest mass murder in all of American History. He is most honored and wants you to build him a missile; the Jericho you used to decimate this country.” Her weapons; terrorists had her weapons. How many innocent people had these people killed with her weapons? Weapons that were meant to defend and protect. 

“I refuse.” She said before any rational thought. Sheer rage filled his eyes and Toni stumbled back as a slap cracked across her face. The man shouted to which her fellow captive translated calmly. 

“You dare refuse Abu Bakaar? You are only alive because of his generosity because he wants you to be. You are nothing. He offers you his hospitality and you only offer him insolence.”

“Fuck you,” Toni spat, looking up at Bakaar. He snarled and shoved her against the wall, pressing an arm to her throat. 

“You belong to the Ten Rings.” The man translated as dots started to flicker over her vision. “You will build it or you will die in a pool of your own blood.” He pulled his arm away and she slid down the wall, taking in as much air as possible. Bakaar stormed towards the door, his men followed behind as he slammed and locked the door.

“That went well.” The man said, walking over to Toni who was trying to regain her breath. He hooked an arm around her and helped her to sit on the edge of the bed. He gently pried the battery from her hands and placed it on the table near them, grabbing bandages and a needle and thread. Toni flinched as he pulled up her jacket sleeves to reveal bloody bandages and torn stitches.

“Where did these come from?” Toni voice came out hoarse. 

“Shrapnel: better your arms then your face. Most of these should heal without any lasting damage.” He lowered his voice. “They will be back soon. Abu is willing to do anything to get his weapon. Are you willing to make sure he doesn’t get it?” 

“Yes.”  
*****  
They came for a few hours later with the same question. 

She refused and they took her. 

You belong to the Ten Rings. The words repeated in her head like a mantra as Abu lifted a burning metal rod next to her face and she tried not to breathe in the smoke that curled under her nose. She’s on her knees and hands push her shoulders forward; the battery is pressed into her chest and her back is exposed.

“Build me my Jericho?” 

“No.” She gritted. He narrowed his eyes and spat on the shaped, burning metal. He stood and moved around to the back of her. Heat flared against her back and he asked again, “Build me my Jericho?”

“No.” She gritted her teeth. Agony attacked her back. The fire in her back flared and crawled deep through her flesh. Pain raged in her head and blacks dots attacked her vision. Anguish ran through her head alongside the desperate thought to not scream, not to break. Toni passes out instead.   
*****  
There is no rest for the wicked so there is certainly none for Toni Stark.

“I had to clean your burns.” The man explains as she awakens to a flash of pain in her back. She clenched her eyes and tried not to cry out as he pressed a wet cloth to her back. 

“What did they do?” 

“They burnt their sigil into your back.” She refused to cry as she pulled the battery deeper into her chest. Stark men were made of iron, she was too. 

She tried to distract herself from the pain and asked, “I don’t think I ever caught your name, doc.” 

He paused before responding. “Yinsen.” 

Her voice came out shaky.“Nice to meet you,” She paused. “Again.” He let out a small smile at that. 

“Nice to meet you again as well, Stark.”   
*****  
Toni was drowning. Fists grip her curls and drown her, over and over and over again.

She screams in the water where no one can hear her, where no one can shame her. Then, she breathes for the split second she has to tell them to fuck off, that she says no. Then, it happens all over again. 

Toni’s arms ache from the strong, desperate grip on the battery. Her lungs scream from the water and her head pounds. Everything fucking hurts and she could die at any second. Yet, through it all she still refuses.   
*****  
As days passed, she was taken more and more often. Every time she wakes, they come for Toni again. Yinsen doesn’t know how long she’ll survive with the battery; Toni is not sure she if she even wants to. Every time they come back sooner and keep her for longer. Hands grip her hair and shove her down into the water; she’s not sure if she’ll ever come back up 

Then, water hits the battery and electricity courses through her body. Toni goes slack and darkness steals her.   
*****  
Toni looks dead when she’s brought back to Yinsen. He presses his fingers to her slack wrist and feels her faint pulse beating rapidly and randomly with no discernible pattern. 

Atrial fibrillation; her heart was out of rhythm. He needed to reset her heart's rhythm and his gaze shifted to the car battery. He unzipped her jacket and unconnecting the battery powering the electromagnetic ring in her chest. He took a breath and reconnected and electricity coursed through her body. 

He pressed his fingers to her wrist and let out a small sigh of relief. Her heart rate and rhythm seemed to return to normal but he doubted it would last with the ring in her chest and the Ten Rings. 

“Your heart is failing.” He said when she woke up. Toni blinked. “Atrial fibrillation. It can only be treated with medications or a device to assist the heart. We currently have access to neither and they,” He nodded to the camera. “Will not care or give you access to anything as long as you refuse to build for them,” Yinsen said bluntly and Toni broke out into a burst of miserable, hysterical laughter. It makes her chest and back and everything ache but it was just such a fucking joke.   
*****  
Just when she starts to drift off to sleep, Abu and his men storm the room.

God, Toni just wants it to be over. She was dying because of her weapons. She was being tortured because of her weapons. An illusion of control she thought she had was shattered. Toni had no control over her body, her weapons, her life. She just wanted it to be over. 

Toni finally broke. 

“Stop!” She cried as the hands pulled her out of the water. “God, please stop.” Her voice cracked and they let her fall to her knees. This was her breaking point; she was pathetic. 

“Build me my Jericho?”Abu asked, kneeling down next to her. 

“Yes, god, yes. Just stop.” She croaked. Abu let a laugh of triumph and clapped her on the shoulder. Toni was a monster. She should have died before she said yes. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to the wet concrete and just tried to breathe. They gave her a moment to breathe before the hands pulled her slowly off the ground. They place a cover over her head and start to move her somewhere.   
*****  
The light blinds her through the cover and the sun blisters her skin. They pull the cover off and she squints into the stinging daylight, her thoughts quickly turned from pain to shock. Toni first notices the mountains surrounding her, hiding her and the ten rings away, then she sees the weapons. 

“Oh my god.” She whispered, staring out at her surroundings. Her name surrounded her; STARK was plastered on nearly every crate and weapon surrounding her. Some of these seem to date back to the beginning of the Afghanistan war while others looked like they were built and shipped out days ago. 

“Quite a collection,” Yinsen said, stepping up next to her.

“How did they get these?”

“Didn't you know? They’re your best customers.” Abu grabs her free arm and moves her forward towards another heavily armed man before them. The other man --Raza, Yinsen mutters-- turns to face and smiles. Abu starts to speak.

“As you can see, they have everything you need to build their Jericho. You will make a list of materials and you will start work right away. After you are complete, they will set you free.” Raza reaches a hand out and grins. Toni takes it and shines a matching smile.

“No, they won’t.” 

“No, they won’t.” Yinsen agrees.   
*****  
A small phantom pain burned in her back as she watched the fire swirled before her in an elaborate dance. Toni sat curled up in a wheelbarrow in the corner of her cell with a blanket draped over her and just watched it destroy the wood Yinsen kept throwing in. She didn’t know how long she sat there, messing with her bracelet and thinking and, frankley, she didn’t care. Toni just sat there and thought about her weapons get into the hands of those men

They’re your best customers. Monsters of her own making.

Toni felt a shudder run down her spine. 

“I'm sure their looking for you, Stark, but they'll never find you in these mountains.” Yinsen said, walking up to her. She continued to stare, not sparing a look towards him. “Even if they do manage to track you down, that battery is not going to survive outside this cave.” He paused, his voice quieter. “You didn’t like what you saw out there, did you? I didn’t like it either when those weapons destroyed my home.” Yinsen looks down at her. “Look, what you just saw, that is your legacy, Stark.” 

Toni let out a harsh laugh. “Your life’s work is in the hands of those murderers. Everything you’ve worked for, everything you made is being corrupted. Is that really how you want to go out? Is this the last act of defiance of the great Toni Stark: sitting in a cave, drowning in self pity and sorrow? Or are you going to do something about it?” 

“Why should I do anything? They’re going to kill me, you, either way. And if they don’t, I’ll probably be dead in a week.” Yinsen turned away from her. 

“Well then, it's a very important week for you isn’t it?” 

Look, what you just saw, that is your legacy, Stark.

I don’t want my legacy to be destruction and death. The words reverberated in her head and Toni looked down at the battery. She was going to get out of here, she was going to take them down, and she needed a new heart to do it.   
*****  
The usual silence was broken by the flurry of movement and people. Men dragged in boxes and crates of material as Toni continues to yell out orders. She was moving fast and Yinsen was struggling to translation but she couldn’t the whirlwind of thoughts in her mind. 

“Don’t need this,” She says, turning away from the missile she was working on with a small piece of metal in her hand. 

“What’s that?” Yinsen nodded towards the metal. 

“Palladium, 0.15 grams. We need 1.6, so why don’t you go break down the other 11.”   
*****  
Days later, she and Yinsen are alone and bright blue light floods the cave. 

“Wow,” Yinsen marvels. “That doesn’t look like a Jericho missile.” 

“This is a miniaturized arc reactor. I have one powering my factory at home; this one should be able to keep the shrapnel out of my heart.”

“What does it generate?” 

“If my math is right, three gigajoules per second.”

“That could run your heart for fifty lifetimes.”

“Yeah,” She drops a sack of almost transparent paper in front of him. “Or something big for fifteen minutes. Yinsen gives her a suspicious look before flattening the stack of papers. His eyes widen at the drawing of an armoured figured “This is our ticket out of here.”  
*****  
It takes a lot to convince Yinsen to help her. Her entire sternum would be removed alongside parts of her ribs and parts of her lungs: all the make room for the giant piece of metal she needed to keep her alive. It could kill her instead. Yinsen made the risks abundantly clear to her. 

“Sometimes you need to run before you can walk.” She responded, trying not to let the hysteria that was creeping into her voice take her over. 

“Stark,” He said quietly. “You will never be able to recover from this.” She looked down the cover arc reactor, before glancing up at the surveillance camera looming over them. “You will live in pain for the rest of your life. You might die before I can even finish implanting it. Are you sure it is worth it?” 

Toni let her gaze drift down over to the battery and her voice went quiet, so much so that Yinsen could barely hear her. “We have been trapped in a cave. We have been tortured and abused. I would rather die trying to get this arc reactor in and get a chance to escape then live and be attached to a car battery in this god forsaken cave for another day.” Her hands trembled as she looked at him. “I got us stuck in here and now I have a chance to get us out of this. Will you do the procedure?”

“I will.”


	8. Hell Hath No Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni builds a savior and fights her way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Friends! Finals are coming up so I'm not sure how much you'll see of me. Thanks for reading.
> 
> Special thanks to my beta justmeandmyfandomfeels. Love ya, girl.

Toni Stark didn’t let herself recover. This was the second time that she had surgery performed on her while she was awake and once again she didn’t give herself time to recover. The moment she could move without sending herself into hyperventilation from the reduced lung capacity or cause herself to pass out from the complete pain attacking her body, she started working. Or tried too, at least. Yinsen was one hell of a mother hen.

“Almost done with this part.” She said, her voice trailing off as she saw what Yinsen was working on. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like it?” Toni walked over to him slowly, supporting herself on the work table.

“It looks like a crappy backgammon board.”

“Excuse me,” He pointed to the board. “This, my friend, are made of Lebanese cedar. I’ve had some free time. This is also my attempt at getting you to take a break.”

“We’re almost done.” She muttered.

“You’re about to collapse. I’ll make you a deal: You win, and I’ll leave you alone and be there to save you when you have your near-death experience of the day. I win, and you will listen to me and take care of yourself.”

“Okay, better prepare any medical equipment you need to bring me back to life because I was the backgammon champ at MIT four years running.” She sat gingerly one of the smaller boxes. Yinsen smiled and moved his chair and another small crate, placing the board and the pieces he had made on it.

“Interesting, as I also was the champion at Cambridge. I don’t think I ever saw you at any of the International competitions.” Toni hid her smile from the cameras and watched as Yinsen set up the pieces.

“Cambridge? Is that still a school?”

“It’s a university. You probably haven’t heard of it since Americans can’t get in.”

“Yeah, they just teach there.” Yinsen scoffed but matched Toni’s small smile.

Yinsen won the first game, Toni won the second.

“You never told me where you were from.” She said, rolling the crude dice.

“I come from a small village, Gulmira. It's not far from here. It was a good place...before these men ravaged it.”

“You have a family?”

“I do.” He nodded. “I’m going to see them once we get out of here. Do you?”

“Yeah.” She muttered, thoughts of Pepper, Rhodey, Obadiah, and the bots coming to the forefront of her mind. “I do. We’re both going to see them again.” Yinsen opened his mouth to respond when the door flew upon and armed soldiers rushed the room. Toni and Yinsen stood instinctively and were pulled forward to the center of the room.

Raza stepped in.

“Relax.” He said, stepping into the room. English. He was speaking English. He understood their conversations. Toni widened her eyes. How much did he know? “The bow and arrow was once the pinnacle of weapons technology. It allowed the great Genghis Khan to rule from the Pacific to Ukraine.” Raza stepped over to the workbench and glancing down at Tony’s plans, before moving in front of Toni.

“Today, whoever has the latest Stark weapon rules these lands.” Toni tensed up and did her best not to flinch away as he unzipped the jacket she was wearing. The blue light of the exposed arc reactor shining “Soon,” He matched his gaze to Toni’s. “It will be my turn.” Raza nodded towards Yinsen, not breaking his gaze with her. The men surrounding them grabbed Yinsen by the shoulders and shoved him to his knees.

She couldn’t breathe. God, Toni couldn’t breathe as Raza walked lazily over to the raging fire. He took a pair of tongs and lifted a lump of burning coal from the flame. Raza turned his attention and spoke to him in Urdu. It was a question and, by the way, Raza was moving the coal closer to Yinsen face, he wasn’t giving the right answer. He pushed the coal closer and Toni couldn’t take it.

“What do you want?” She asked, her voice as calm as possible. “When do you want it done?” Raza glanced at her and dropped the coal.

He walked over to her and pushed her tank top down, completely exposing the arc reactor, before resting a finger on it. “You have until tomorrow to finish my missile.” The threat hung in the air, and he turned and walked out, the other men following behind.

She let out a shaky breath and started trembling. “That went well,” Yinsen said, standing up trying to keep his voice cheery, but it came out just as shaky. She took a breath as deep as she could and pulled up the zipper on her jacket.

“We need to get this done.” She moved over to the workbench, Yinsen doing the same. “We need to get out here.”

“Okay. What can I do?”  
*****  
“Are you ready, Stark?” Yinsen muttered, helping Toni pull on a thick jacket. She nodded and started pulling on her work gloves.

“Let's do this.” She said. Toni took a moment to breathe, using her bracelet to ground her before stepping into the lower part of the suit, and pulling it closed. She stood still and waited for the chest piece to be lowered down on her. Toni rolled her shoulders back as she tried to get used to the weight. She flexed her left hand in the metal glove and tried to figure out her range of movement. She glanced over at the computer screen that was loading way to fucking slow and then worriedly down at the full grey, metal suit. Toni tried to move her right hand but it didn’t budge.

Just then, the explosive they put at the door blew. Shit. They didn't have much time.

“Yinsen, it’s frozen. I need you to reset it.” They both paused for a split second as the screaming of Raza’s men grew closer and louder.

“Get ready, Stark.” Yinsen grabbed the grey helmet and placed it over Toni’s head.

“It’s not moving.”

“It's moving. Just, extremely slowly.” Yinsen eyed the laptop and looked at the door. Toni knew that look.

“Yinsen, we have a plan. Get to your cover. Remember the checkpoints. Yinsen. Yinsen! Stick to the plan. ” He nodded and looked at Toni.

“This is the plan.” Yinsen rushed out of the lab, grabbing a weapon from one of the dead men and runs into the tunnel. Fuck. Fuck. She looked desperately at the loading bar as she heard multiple bursts of gunshots. Then, a surge of power to the suit. All the lights around flicked off and everything was washed in the bright blue light of the arc reactor.

Toni steps forward out of the rig slowly just as two guards enter the dark and smokey lab. A rage burns inside her as she moves towards them.

The cruel part of her revels in their screams.  
*****  
She steps out of the lab, and a hail of bullets hit her. Talk about field testing. Toni pauses for a moment to make sure none of the bullets penetrated the armor, before taking a menacing step towards the group. They all cower and scream before she slams the armor into them. These men wouldn't be getting up after that.

Toni turned her back on the corpses, following the men that tried to flee. Bullets kept hitting the suit, ricocheting into the walls of the cave and the men surrounding her. She moved into the main part of the cave and in front of the blockade of men who were doing their best to stop her from escaping. She could see her freedom right in front of her. The massive arm piece swivels, slamming the men onto the ground while taking countless rounds of bullets. The suit is smoking and shredded as she steps into the light.

She’s practically blinded by the light of freedom when she steps outdoors. Despite herself, she pauses for a moment. She was out, she was out. She and Yinsen were so close.

An RPG shot by, inches from her face. It shatters in the wall behind her.

“Stark!” She heard Yinsen call. Toni looked up and saw Raza, who was calmly loading another RPG in the intersecting tunnel. She pulls at the arm, prying the flamethrowers up from their holding spot. She lifts her arms and the flamethrowers at the men surrounding her and prepares for the heat.

It doesn’t come. Raza’s men surround her and she watches Raza aim the RPG launcher. Shit, shit, shi-.

Twin plumes of fire envelopes everything in their path. Screams of agony echo through her. Raza tries to flatten himself against a wall, trying to use dead soldiers as a shield, but he can’t escape her burning fury. Then, she sees Yinsen, right across from her laying the ground in a puddle of blood.

She moves over to him and kneels before him. Bullet holes are scattered across his chest. Nothing can save him now.

“We could have made it. Both of us.” Her voice cracked. “You could have seen your family again.” Yinsen smiled.

“My family is dead,” He whispered, blood pooling at the corner of his mouth. “I am going to see them again.”

“You saved my life. Thank you,” Toni whispered.

“Don’t waste your life, Toni.” The words came out slurred and quiet. “Don’t waste it.”

“I won’t.” She whispered, fully aware that he couldn’t hear her. She stood up and a new rage burned in her.

She walks forward, following the men that flee. Bullets tear their way through the suit as she steps in front of them, her gaze narrowed on the massive ammo dump. She turns her flamethrowers on the crates, watching as the STARK logo is burned away. Another barrage of gunfire starts as she moves forward, burning everything she can to the ground. Toni is relentless as she moves forward. A bullet pierces the house of her right flamethrower, and a fiery pain runs up her arm. Another catches a seam, grazing her left shoulder. Toni pushes forward, grinding her teeth.

She steps out of the cave system and looks over the expansive desert. Bullets hit her back and Toni can feel pieces of the suit breaking off as she flicks open a panel on her arm. She switches the red switch and power surges in the suit; she could feel the strain of the arc reactor as it heats in her chest. The crude propulsion system activates and the suit rises, arcing across the sky as the cave system behind her erupts in explosions and flames.  
*****  
She’s falling.

The repulsers went out and she was falling. Toni only had a few seconds before she hit the ground. With the armor and luck, at best, the fall probably wouldn’t kill her and would maybe just leave her with a few broken bones or other crippling injuries. At worst, she could die, or break her back and then die.

She slammed into the desert on her left side, the suit sinking under the sand. Her forehead crashed into the helmet. Toni laid in the destroyed suit, staring up at the sky as pain ricocheted through every inch of her body.

Spots attacked her vision as she tried to pry off the helmet; her left arm was definitely broken and who knew what the fuck was happening with the rest of her body. She used her right arm to pull the helmet off and toss it into the sand. Toni tried to catch her breath as she assessed what was left of the armor. What wasn’t torn to shreds in the firefight was definitely destroyed now One good thing at least. She slides what's left of the chest piece off and pulls off the leg pieces before dragging herself out of the remains onto the sand. Toni can feel the weight of arc reactor sinking in her chest as she stared at the sky, the sun burning down on her.

“Goddamnit.” She muttered, slamming her hand into the sand. “Goddamnit. Goddamnit!” She yelled, tears rolling down her face. Toni had gotten out. She had survived. She had gotten revenge. So why did she wish she just died in that cave?

She staggered as she stood up, staring at the shattered suit.

“It should have been me,” She choked. “It’s all my fault. Everybody that died was because of me. Yinsen is dead! Rhodey is dead! It's all your fault!” Toni screamed, gripping her hair. “It’s all your-.” Her screams broke off into a wheeze as she doubles over, her breath catches in her throat; she couldn’t breathe under the weight of the reactor. She grabs at the bracelet that still somehow has survived this clusterfuck and tries to ground herself, tries to breathe.

Toni waits until her breathing evens out. She needed to pull her shit together. Yinsen was dead. Rhodey was dead and she was going to die if she didn’t pull herself together. They would have died for nothing if she didn’t at least try to survive, try to find a way back. The explosion would definitely be seen and it was most likely that somebody would go to check it out.

“You just have to survive long enough for them to see you,” She muttered. “You’ve had your tantrum, you’ve thrown your fit. Now, pull it together.”

Don’t waste your life, Toni.

Toni shoved all that shit to the back of her mind and started to assess the situation. Her right arm was burnt from the flamethrower and the entire sleeve of the jacket had been burnt away. Her other arm was broken and her shoulder was bleeding. She pulled off the jacket --leaving her in a tank top and exposed to the blistering sun-- and moved over to the wreckage. She grabbed a jagged piece of metal and attempted to cut the other sleeve off before wrapping it around the bleeding shoulder. She pulled on the remains of the jacket and pulled up the hood before glancing over the expansive desert and taking a step.

“Okay,” She muttered, steadying herself. “No way but forward.”  
*****  
Pure will power and spite were really the only things keeping her going at this point. She was shaking from exhaustion. Her head pounded and her throat burned. The metal of the arc reactor was scalding her skin and, at some point during the journey, she managed to cut open her leg which hurt like a bitch. She was probably going to collapse at any moment.

Then she heard something.

At first, Toni just thought it was the pounding in her head. She shrugged it off and just focused on moving one foot in front of the other. Then, it got louder and she thought it was just her mind fuck brought on by dehydration and exhaustion. Then, she saw it: black helicopters flying towards her.

“Hey!” She yelled, trying to run forward and get their attention. “Down here!” Toni waved her uninjured arm. They got closer and started to descend from the sky and she collapsed to her knees in relief, raising her hand in a peace sign. It touched down a few meters from her, blowing up sand and dust. A few men exited the copter, but most stayed back as one rushed forward.

“How was the funvee?” Rhodey smiled, kneeling down in front of her. “Next time you ride with me.”

“You’re alive,” Toni muttered a smile of total relief flooding over her face. “Oh, god. You’re alive.”

He gave an unsure smile, “I feel like I should be the one that’s surprised.” Toni didn’t respond as she collapsed into his arms and started sobbing into his shoulder. He gingerly tried to return the hug but saw just some of her injuries and didn’t want to do anything to make it worse. Toni just revelled in the touch: peaceful and painless for the first time in what felt like forever.  
*****  
Rhodey practically had to carry her to the helicopter. She was clinging to Rhodey the entire time, trying to shield herself in Rhodey’s arms and from the prying eyes of the other soldiers. Toni gingerly sat down in one of the chairs with the help of Rhodey, who sat down next to her. Toni practically curled up in the chair, cradling her broken arm across her chest over the arc reactor.

“It’s only a couple minutes to base. We’ll get you checked out once we get there.” He passed her a water bottle. “Drink slowly.” Toni nodded and started, using her best impulse control, to drink.

They sat in silence before Toni muttered, “I thought you were dead.”

“No,” Rhodey smiled softly. “We're both okay. It takes more than a terrorist attack to take us down."

She let out a small laugh, “Yeah. Guess it does.”

“Oh, by the way.” He smiled, pulling something out of his jacket. “I think you lost this.” The Captain America locket dangled from his hand and her face lit up. She grabbed it and stared at it in her palm.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” He grinned and pulled gently wrapped an arm around her. “I’m so glad you're here.”

“Me too.” She said, leaning into the touch.

*****  
There was a crowd when the helicopter landed. Rhodey helped her off the helicopter in all her bloody and burned glory, all the soldiers cheered when they saw her. They cheered for her: Toni Stark the most famous American mass murder whose weapons were being used to kill them.

She had the sudden urge to throw up.  
*****  
“I am fine, I do not-Do not fucking touch me,” Toni said, shoving the doctor’s hand away.

The doctor gave an exasperated sigh. “Miss Stark, please. We don’t know how serious your injuries. I need to do a full examination.”

“No, you don’t!” She yelled, trying to pull herself off the table. “I’m sick of people poking and prodding and touching me. Leave me alone.”

“Miss Stark-” Rhodey grabbed the doctor by the shoulder.

“Step out for a minute, please.” He muttered. “Let me talk to her.” The doctor looked like he was going to argue but let a sigh and walked out.

“Get me out of here,” Toni demanded.

“Sit down, Tones. Please. Why can’t you let him help you?”

“I want to go home.”

“You can’t fly if you’re injured. You have second-degree burns, your shoulder is bleeding, your arm is broken, you probably have a concussion from that nasty gash on your forehead and those are just the things I can see.” Rhodey sat down next to her. “What do you need to let yourself be treated?”

Toni didn’t respond for a minute before answering, “I’m not taking my jacket off.”

“Tones-”

“There’s an arc reactor slotted in my chest.” Rhodey blinked.

“What?”

“I got injured remember? I had to use an arc reactor to fix it. I’d rather keep it more on the down low now so I’m not taking my jacket off.” That was only partly true but it seemed to be enough to satisfy him.

“Okay, we’re going to come back to that later but I will,” His was voice extremely hesitant but he let it go. “Trust you on that. What else do you need?”

“I want a female doctor, nurse, whatever. I want to be treated by a woman.”

“Okay. I’m going to go talk to him and get everything you need.”  
*****  
There was a plane waiting for her and Rhodey after the doctor fixed her up. Rhodey guided her to the back to the bathroom and handed her a small pile of clothes. clothes. “Clean up. Yell if you need anything.” She nodded and shut the door, making sure it was locked and pausing until she was sure Rhodey was away from the door. Toni stepped over from the door and in front of the mirror.

She was a mess.

The stitches in her forehead made her skin burn an angry red even though it was mostly covered by her thick greasy black curls that had grown out in the last month. Her left arm and shoulder, still exposed in the sleeveless jacket, were covered in bandages while her right was up in a sling. God, that wasn’t even all of it. She slowly pulled off her locket, setting it on the edge of the sink before taking a shaking breath and unzipping her jacket and pulling off her tank top.

Toni was undeniably beautiful. The world around her could deny her intelligence, her ingenious but they could never deny that she was gorgeous: Her statuesque features, her perfect proportions; it certainly wasn't her charming personality that drew people to her. All her life she had known it, used it to her advantage. During all her time in that cave, she tried not to think about it, her body, her chest that was scarred and ruined. Looking at her body now, she didn’t see anything resembling beauty.

Toni stared at herself for a moment, eyes locked on the mirror before punching it, shattering the glass and the reflection. She turned her back on the broken glass and started to pull on her clothes, her good hand throbbing.  
*****  
"What happened, Tones?" Rhodey asked quietly. She stared out the window, circling her finger around the rim of the cup resting on the table in front of her.

"Nothing." He sighed.

"I don't think I can believe that."

"They wanted me to build a weapon, I did. I got out and killed them all. It's as simple as that."

"I won't press." He said, taking heed of her unwillingness to talk. "But I'm here if you want to talk, to tell me what really happened."

"I already told you: nothing happened."  
*****  
"I do not need a wheelchair. I am not-" Toni cut herself off, lighting up when she saw Pepper standing at the bottom of the ramp. Toni had to prevent herself from running to Peppe, trying to walk slow and casual.

"A few tears for your long lost boss?" Toni smirked, looking up at her. Pepper smiled and wiped her eyes.

"Tears of joy." She sniffed. "I hate job hunting."

"Vacation's over." Toni looked up to Happy, who was standing behind Pepper. "That goes for both of you."

"Course, boss." Happy grinned, trying to look like he totally wasn't crying. "Glad to be back at your service."

"Damn right." Toni nodded. “I’m back, baby.” She took striding steps towards the car pretending not to notice Pepper and Rhodey have a concerned conversation behind her. Happy pulled open the door for her and slid into the back seat just before Pepper did.

“Where to, Boss?”

“The hospital.” Rhodey and Pepper said in sync. She rolled her eyes.

“I have been in captivity for three months. There are two things I need to do now that I’m back. One,” She lifted a finger for added flair. “I want an American Cheeseburger. Two,” She turned to Pepper. “I want a press conference scheduled.” The other three immediately burst into protest.

“No, no, no.” She said, cutting them off. “Happy, start driving. Pepper, press conference. Rhodey, stop giving me that sour look.”

“Who do you want to be there?” Pepper asked with a resigned tone, flicking through the tablet. Toni grinned.

“Everyone.”  
*****  
They pull up to a crowd. It was filled with reporters, journalists, stockholders, board members, all waiting for her.

“Showtime,” Toni smiled, tossing her trash to the side.

“Toni, think about what you’re about to do,” Pepper said. “Are you sure about this? What are you even going to say?”

“Don’t worry, Pep.” Toni shot her a smile. “I know exactly what I’m about to do.” Toni pushed open the door and stepped out into the cheering crowd.

“Toni!” Obadiah shouted, rushing over to her with a grin on his face. He pulled her into a hug, not noticing Toni flinch when he touched her burns“I’m so glad you're okay.”

“I am too.” She smiled, pulling away from him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Everybody’s here. What’s this about anyway? I was making plans to visit you in the hospital. Where you should be recovering.” Toni shrugged and started walking, leaving Obie behind before he could try and change her mind. The crowds parted and cheered as she walked to the conference room, Obie on her trail. Toni stepped into the room, up to the podium and silence washed over the crowd.

“Hello, everybody.” She said, adjusting the sling on her arm. “Look at me. I survived, much to the displeasure of most of you. Right now, I should probably be at a hospital but instead, I’m here because I have an announcement to make. And no, before you get excited, I am not resigning my position as CEO of Stark Industries. CEO.” She muttered with a sigh, tapping her finger on the podium. “When I first took over Stark Industries, I had a vision. I had a vision of what I wanted to it to be, what I thought it was.” She moved away from the podium, not looking at the audience or the cameras.

“Three months ago, I saw young Americans killed,” She turned her gaze to them. “Killed by the very weapons meant to protect them. The very weapons I created to defend and protect them. I saw that I had become a part of a system that is comfortable with zero accountability.” She let that settle over the crowd, reporters breaking out into quiet murmurs. One woman in the front with a note pad raised her hand hesitantly.

“Yeah, Jen?”

“What happened over there?”

Toni's breath hitched for a moment. “I-.” She took a breath and raised her head high. “I had my eyes opened. I saw the light. I realized that I can, that this company, can offer so much more than blowing things up and killing people.” She caught Obie’s gaze whose eyes widened. “That is why, effective immediately,” Her tone becomes harsh. “I am shutting down the weapons-” The press started screaming questions at her, the press jumping to their feet and the stockholders yelling out in protest. She held steady as Obie tried and pull her away from the podium but held her ground and raised her voice. “Manufacturing division of Stark Industries until such a time as I can decide what the future of the company will be.” She pushed away from the podium, striding out the room as Obie tried to retake some control of the situation.

“What we should take this is that Toni is back and is in good health. We’re going to have some internal discussion and then get back to you.” His voice faded away as she kept walking.

*****  
Toni stared at the original arc reactor, leaning against the railing. This one was the size of a small house and she had managed to make this thing small enough to fit in her chest with a box of scraps. What she could do with the resources she had now.

“Well, that went, um,” Obadiah said, coming up to Toni. She let out a sigh and attempted to loosen her tie with her good hand.

“Did I just paint a target on my head?” Obie scoffed.

“Your head? What about my head? How much do you think our stock is going to drop because of the little stunt you just pulled?”

“Forty points,” Toni said.

“If we’re lucky. Toni, we are a weapons manufacturer. We’re ironmongers, it’s what we do. Your side projects are not enough to keep this company afloat. So, what’s your plan for this? What are you trying to do? ”

Toni narrowed her eyes. “I’m trying to make the Stark Industries legacy something more than a body count.”

“What we do, what we make, is the only thing keeping the world for falling into chaos.”

“We create chaos. We’re not stopping it, we’re selling it.”

“And what do you we suppose we do?” Obadiah scoffed.“Sell baby bottles?”

“I want to work on the development of Arc Reactor tech,” She said, crossing her arms.

“That was a publicity stunt. We haven’t had a breakthrough in thirty years. Right?” He looked at her anxiously.

Toni rolled her eyes. “You have an awful poker face. Who told you? Rhodey or Pepper?” He shrugged and dodged the question.

“I was hoping you would.” So Rhodey told him Toni assumed. “Let me see it.” Toni sighed and struggled to undo the top two buttons of her shirt, exposing as much of the arc reactor as she could without exposing her entire chest.

“Wow,” He marveled, the blue light washing over him as he took a step closer to her. He let out a breath before looking up at here. “We’re a team.” He said, stepping towards and re-buttoning the shirt for her.“There’s nothing we can’t do but no more of this ready-aim-fire business. No more unplanned press conferences. Can you promise me that?” He asked, his voice softening.

“Maybe,” Toni said. Stane placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she instinctively leaned into the touch.

“Try and lay low for a bit.”

“I’ll try.” She promised.  
*****  
The mansion was big and empty. For the first time in more than three months, she was alone and Toni didn’t like it.

Rhodey hadn’t talked to her since they parted ways at the press conference. Pepper was off trying to deal with the upcoming shit storm from the press conference with Happy. Obadiah was trying to pull everything together. So, she was alone… For the most part.

“Welcome home, Miss.” JARVIS greeted in a cheerful tone. The mansion came alive as she stepped into the room, everything adjusting to Toni’s preprogrammed preferences. “It's good to have you back.” She smiled.

“It's good to be back. Where are the bots?”

“Waiting for your return in the lab. They, as I, have missed you extremely much.”

“I’ve missed you guys, a lot.” She muttered, warmth swelling in her chest.

“Miss, I’m detecting a strange source of energy coming from you.” His voice came out extremely worried. “What has occurred?”

“I had to implant a device that powers an electromagnet that keeps shrapnel from entering my heart. And now that I‘m back, I going to need your help.”

“With?”

“Prepare the workshop. I need to build a better heart, J.”


	9. Fury of a Phoenix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni creates the suit and becomes part of a world she never expected.

“So, J. What’s the diagnosis?” Toni asked, laying flat and shirtless in the laser scanner table in the lab, idly running a hand over Dum-E, who had rolled next to her. 

“It’s difficult to offer any assistance due to the fact that your intentions are inconsistent with your actions.” Toni cocked an eyebrow at the ceiling. 

“What?”

“Miss, the energy yield of this device outperformed your stated intention by eleven orders of magnitude. You could power the electromagnet with the power output of a car battery.” Toni involuntarily shivered at that as she sat up. She watched the holograms of projected calculations flicker on in front of her. 

“Don’t worry, J. All that energy isn’t going to waste. I already have plans for it.” She asked, pulling and attempting to re-button her shirt. “I want you to make some blueprints for a new reactor with any upgrades you think are necessary.”

“Of course. It would thrill me to no end.” JARVIS said flatly. 

“Ah, there’s that winning personality I programmed.” She grinned, picking up one of the tennis balls she got for Dum-E and U to mess with. “Hey, U,” Toni called to the bot moping in the corner. He perked up his claw and she moved to throw it to him. Pain snapped through her arm and chest as the muscles pulled painfully on the arc reactor. She stumbled against the table with a gasping breath, the bots and JARVIS’ attention snapping to her. Dum-E and U let out whirls of concern and rolled up next to her, trying to place their claws on her back in an attempt to comfort her. “Please don’t,” Her voice came out strangled from the pain and the lack of air as she tried to catch her breath and shake off the pain. 

“Miss, should I call Colonel Rhodes or Miss Potts? Perhaps Mr. Stane? You are in need of medical attention.” JARVIS asked gently, concern lacing his tone. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Miss, I must-.” 

“I’m fine.” Toni raised her voice. “I just,” She took a wheezing breath. “I just need a minute. Just, work on the new reactor, please.” Toni whispered, sliding down the wall into a sitting position.   
*****  
“What a thing of beauty.” Toni smiled, looking at the new and improved arc reactor. She was feeling a bit better and wanted to get the new arc reactor in as soon as possible. Toni just had one problem: her fingers weren’t long enough to reach into the back of the socket and reconnect the wires. Toni also really only had one function hand, the sling making it practically impossible to do anything with the other, so she really only had one option. Toni sighed and rubbed her hand down her face before pressing down on her intercom and calling Pepper. 

“How big are your hands?” Toni asked, moving over to Pepper the moment she stepped into the lab. 

“What?” Pepper blinked. Toni didn’t respond as she grabbed her hand, raising it against her own. Pepper’s hand was bigger than Toni’s but still small enough to fit into the socket without much trouble. 

“Good, okay. You’ll do.” Toni muttered, pulling away from her hand. Pepper could do it, now Toni just had to muster up the courage to ask her. “I need a favor.” 

“And that would be?” Pepper raised an eyebrow as Toni nervously rubbed her hand against thigh. 

“I need you to help me change the arc reactor.” 

“You want me to-? What?” 

“This thing.” Toni gestured to her chest, the light of the arc reactor shining through the button up “The thing I told you about. Look, I really don’t want to explain it. I need to replace it and I need you to do it. Will you help me or not?”

“I, I guess. Is it safe?” Pepper asked, following Toni as she walked to the elevated chair she had set up. 

“Yes. 100%, you just have to do what I say.” Toni said, sitting on the chair. She pulled off her sling and unbuttoned her shirt just enough so Pepper would be able to access the reactor. 

“Oh, my god,” Pepper said, her voice a mix of marvel and horror as she gazed at the arc reactor. “Is that the thing keeping you alive?” Toni was extremely thankful that she was distracted enough by the reactor not to notice the rest of her chest. 

“It was. It is now an antique. This,” Toni lifted the new arc reactor. “Is what will be keeping me alive for the foreseeable future. I’m swapping it out for an upgraded unit and I just ran into a problem and need your help.”

“Okay, so?” 

“There’s an exposed wire under this device and it's contacting the socket wall, ” Toni said, clicking and releasing the reactor from the socket with a hiss. “Which is causing a little short circuit.” Toni lifted the reactor out gently before snapping the connecting wire. She passed the reactor to Pepper who looked like she was going to throw up. 

“What do I-.”

“Put it down, and now I need you to reach in and gently lift the wire out.” Toni took on the calmest tone possible in an attempt to keep herself and Pepper calm. “Don’t let it touch the socket.” 

“I, uh, okay.” Pepper hesitantly started to reach her hand towards the reactor socket, looking like she could honestly pass out any second. The tips of her fingers entered the socket before she yanked her hand back. Toni almost screamed. “You know I don’t think I’m qualified to do this.”

“You are fine. You are the most capable, qualified, trustworthy person I know. You will do great. Now, I really really need you to do this.” 

“Okay, okay,” Pepper said as she moved to put her hand in the socket. “Oh my god, there's pus.” Pepper squealed. 

“It’s not. It’s just plasmic discharge. It’s not from my body, it's from the device. The copper wire, grab the copper wire.”

“I got it, I got it.”

“Don’t let it touch the socket-” The wire hit the socket and a painful electric shock shot through Toni’s body.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry.” Pepper apologized hysterically. 

“It’s fine. It’s fine. Now, just make sure not to pull the magnet at the-” Pepper lifted the magnet the wire was connected to out of her chest and the heart monitor was blaring in alarm. 

“Oh my god, what's wrong?” Pepper was freaking the fuck out and Toni was going into cardiac arrest. 

Toni tried to keep the panic and anger out of her voice as she pressed the new reactor into Pepper’s hand. “I am currently going into cardiac arrest and I need you to reconnect this wire before I die.” 

“I thought you said it was safe.” 

“And I said you needed to listen to me." 

Pepper looked like she was going to pass out as she moved to put the wire in the socket. Now, just reconnect the-.” Electricity and energy surged through Toni’s body as the arc reactor was connected and everything was back in place. The heart monitor went back to its calm beeping and Toni smiled at Pepper. 

“Now how hard was that?” 

"Toni," She said, her voice shaking. "Never ask me to do that again." 

"You won't have too," Toni said, gently wiping off the arc reactor before buttoning up her shirt. "This," She tapped the arc reactor, careful not put on pressure on it. "Is much more efficient. This won't happen again." Toni assured. Pepper nodded, before lifting up the old reactor with the tips of her fingers as if it might explode.

"What do you want me to do with this?"

"Get rid of it," Toni said, her voice almost coming out sharp. 

"Don't you want to save it?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Fuck no. "Why? It's antiquated." Too many bad memories attached. 

"You made this out of scraps in a cave. It saved your life. Doesn't it even have some nostalgic value?" 

"Pepper. I have been called many things: nostalgic is not one of them. Thank you, again by the way." Toni said, skirting away from that topic. 

"Of course," Pepper said. "But, Toni, if you ever need something done like that, get someone else."

"You're all I got, Pepper." Toni smiled, trying to hide the sadness lacing her voice. Pepper softened and gave her a smile. Despite what Pepper had said, Toni knew that she could always count on Pepper and they both knew it. They shared that for a moment, just staring. 

"Will that be all, Miss Stark?" She asked, not breaking eye contact with Toni. 

"That'll be all, Miss Potts."

A few hours later, Toni found a small, wrapped box on her workbench. Inside is her old arc mounted in Lucite with the words PROOF THAT TONI STARK HAS HEART inscribed on it.   
*****  
Toni couldn't sleep. Her bed was too soft, her room was too empty, and everything was too quiet.

She stared at the wall, curling up as much as she could without causing more pain. Toni waited and waited and hoping that she would just finally fall asleep before giving up completely. “J,” she said, throwing off the blanket. “Prepare the lab.” 

“Of course, Miss. However, I do recommend that you try and get some sleep before working in the lab.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” She replied, pulling on an MIT sweatshirt she stole from Rhodey. 

“I would have to advise against that but I doubt you would listen to me if I did.” She smirked. 

Blue holograms light the lab/garage as soon as she stepped through the glass door. She stepped to her monitor. As soon as she got back, Toni replaced the Mark I suit blueprints. “Start me a new project: Mark II. Put it on my private servers.” She projected the blueprints over her holotable. “Let’s make something amazing.”   
*****  
“Okay, okay, okay,” Toni said. “Let’s do this.” She adjusted the wire connecting the metal repulser boots she built to arc reactor. “Are we recording?” Toni asked, looking up at U, who had his claw and the camera pointed at her. “Dum-E, you’re on fire Let’s start off easy, J. 10% power.” She adjusted her grip on the controls before looking up.

“Ready? Three, Two, One.” The boots practically exploded with energy. She flew up, almost hitting the ceiling before flipping over and slamming face first into the wall. 

“Ouch-” Dum-E cut her off by spraying the fire extinguisher at her. 

“Congratulations, Miss. That test flight yielded excellent data.” 

“Awesome.” She groaned, dropping her head on the ground. “Awesome.” 

*****  
She steps into the hanger to see Rhodey bossing around a group of fetus pilots. Toni hadn’t talked to Rhodey since the press conference since she said she is no longer producing for the organization he’s dedicated his life to. She knew he had a right to be mad at her but that’s why she was here, attempting to extend the olive branch. 

“Manned or unmanned. Which do you think is the future of air combat?” He asked, nodding to the F-22 behind him. “For all the money I have, I know that no drone, no computer will ever be able to trump a pilot’s instincts. They will never be able to have their reflexes, their judgement--.”

“Why not take it a step forward?” Toni asked, never passing up the chance to make a dramatic entrance. “How would you guys feel about a pilot without the plane?” Rhodey laughed which almost seemed to startle the young pilots. 

“Now that is something I would like to see.” He said as Toni walked up to him. “Look who fell out of the sky. Hey, Tones.” Toni smiled and before looking at the pilots with a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

“Who wants to take these apart with me?” She nodded over the plane. 

“All right, all right. That’s all,” He shooed them away, before turning to her. “I didn’t think I’d be seeing you for a while.” Toni’s smile faltered for a moment.

“Why not?” Rhodey shrugged. 

“I figured you need some time.” 

“What do you think I needed time for?” He cocked an eyebrow her. 

“You’ve been through a lot, Toni,” Rhodey said, placing a hand on her shoulder that was supposed to be comforting. “You need to get your head on straight, figure everything out.” 

“I have figured everything. I got it on straight. I’m back to work.” She ignored the surprised look on his face. “Look, I’m on to something big and I want you to be a part of it.”

“Toni, that’s great,” He smiled. “Everybody here will be happy to hear that. What you said  
at that press conference really threw everyone.” 

“Rhodey, no, thats-. No. This isn’t for the military. I meant what I said. Stark Industries is out of the weapons industries. I’m done making weapons.” 

“No, you’re not.” He said, dismissing her completely. “ Let’s be honest, you took a bad hit.” She stared at Rhodey in silent shock. A bad hit? She was held captive in cave for three months. She was tortured. She-

“It messed you up, that’s exactly why you need to take some more time.” Toni was floored. She stared at him for a moment, doubt flitting over every thought in her mind. Doubt had gnawed at the back of her mind ever since she came back from Afghanistan. Was she right? Pepper supported her decision. Obadiah was hesitant but he supported. If she was doing the right thing way wasn’t Rhodey supporting her? 

“Maybe,” She muttered, looking away from him. “I’ll see you later.” He nodded.

“See you,” He agreed with a small smile before turning and walking away from her.   
*****  
Toni had finished the prototype of the suit and the board was filing an injunction against. 

“You should have come, Toni,” Obie said, not looking up from the sheet music for September. He didn’t look at her as he moved over to make room on the bench for her. She slid next to him and seamlessly joined in. “It was a board of directors meeting.”

“You told me to lay low,” She muttered, her finger slipping and hitting a wrong note. 

“In public, Toni. This was the final nail in the coffin; they want to remove you from the board.” She slammed her hands down on the keys before storming back into the lab. 

At first, she was pissed. Toni wanted to scream, to pitch a fit like a child but she got over it. This was how the game was played. The board members had always been looking for a way to get rid of her and PTSD was a great reason to get rid of her and fill her spot with a man they could control. She’d played this game before. Toni played and she had won and she could do it again. They could try but Toni hadn’t gotten this far by bowing down to anything --anybody-- that got in her way. 

In fact, it really was the push she needed. She had been filled with doubt since the first moment she started building the suit in that cave. Toni had done nothing but second guess herself and not push forward. 

She was going to stop all of the weapons production in Stark Industries. 

She was going to take back control of Stark Industries and make something better. 

“Miss, I must strongly advise against this. There are still terabytes of calculation needed to be-.” 

“We’ll do them in flight. Sometimes you have to run before you can walk,” she said. 

“A marvelous leap of logic.” Jarvis drawled. “Initiating flight sequence in three, two, one.” The suit shot through the air and she was flying. Toni arched across the night sky in a blaze of light like a steel Phoenix. She keeps getting higher, and higher. 

Then... she’s falling.

Ice forms over the suit and everything stops, but she doesn’t hit the ground. Jarvis manages to scramble power and she takes control of the suit.

“Shall I take over for landing?” Jarvis asks as she hovers over the roof of her mansion. 

“No, I got it,” Toni mutters, trying to focus. “I got it-.” She drops down with too much weight and punches through the roof of her mansion. She slams through the roof, the first floor, and second floors into the garage onto the top of the Shelby Cobra she just repaired with JARVIS. She stared at the hole in the ceiling and grinned, laughing for the first time in months.

“Perfect. That was,” She smiled breathlessly. “ Amazing.” 

She laid there and relved for just a moment, before pulling herself up and out of the suit. She moved over to her holotable and worked on Mark III. 

“Re-configure using gold-titanium alloy from the Seraphim Tactical Satellite.” A projection of the new and improved all gold amour hovered above the table. She smiled at it. “Add a little hot rod red.”   
*****  
Toni didn’t like doing the expected. She was all about outmaneuvering, doing the unexpected. Right now, she was expected to sit back and wait. She was supposed to wait until Obie was done dealing with the injunction, wait until everything was ready for her to step back in, but waiting wasn’t her style. 

So when she saw heard about Toni Stark’s third Firefighter Family Fund gala being hosted without her, she decided it would be the perfect time to do the unexpected.   
She watched the reporter on the TV stand in front of the red carpet, “--the women whose name graces the gold-lettered invitations hasn’t been seen in public since his highly controversial press conference, and rumors abound. Some say Stark is suffering from post-traumatic stress and hasn’t left her bed in weeks. Whatever the case, no one is an expecting an appearance from her tonight...” Toni turns the TV off in disgust. 

Yeah, it would be the perfect time to do the unexpected. 

She dressed up in a flashy, red gala gown that covered her chest and arc reactor and pulled on a pair of ostentatiously high heels before showing up to the party she wasn’t invited too. 

All cameras are on her as she pulls up to the red carpet. She grins and ignores the questions thrown at her by the press as she walks up to Obie, slinking an arm around his and posing for the cameras.

“What are you doing here?” Obadiah says, hiding the nervousness lacing his tone behind the smile for the cameras. “I thought we decided you were going to lay low for a while.” She held his gaze and held her smile. 

“I thought it was about time to show my face.” Obadiah looked like he was going to argue or say something, but she cut off him before he could. The press was already watching her every move and she didn’t want to do or say anything that the press could speculate about. “I’ll see you inside.” 

Toni made a beeline to the bar, trying to ignore the conversations that stopped and gazes that snapped to her when she stepped in. 

“Miss Stark,” A voice said as picked up a glass of whiskey. She chugged the glass before turning to face the man she recognized and didn’t really want to see. 

“Phil Coulson,” He said. “From the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.” It was cute that he thought she didn’t know what SHIELD was. 

“I didn’t know I had a date tonight,” She said, taking a passive voice and tone. “I don’t know if you heard, but men really aren't my thing. I think we should end it here before you get attached.” She downed the rest of her drink before moving to turn away from him.

“Miss Stark. This is serious, you need to be debriefed. Time is a factor and we still have a lot of unanswered questions. We need to get something on the books and I don’t want to have to go all official on you.” She tapped a finger to her chin.

“I’ll have to talk to my assistant, see if we can fit you in. Oh, look. There she is now. I’ll have someone call you soon.” Coulson let out a noise of protest as she finished off her drink and walked over to Pepper who looked stunning in a deep blue silk gown. 

“Just the person I’m looking for.” Toni smiled, moving towards Pepper how looked just as surprised as Obadiah did. 

“Why? What did you do?” Pepper said suspiciously.

“I didn’t do anything. I just wanted to say hello and hide from some government agents. I love the dress by the way.” 

Pepper smirked, “Thanks, it was a birthday gift from you.” 

“I always knew I had good taste.” Toni bowed slightly and lifted out a hand to her. “Care for a dance?” Pepper blinked for a moment before glancing around nervously at the crowd surrounding them. “Only if you’re comfortable with that,” Toni said, immediately backtracking as she saw the look in Pepper’s eyes. 

Pepper paused for a moment before saying, “That sounds good actually,” and letting Toni whisk her onto the dance floor. They danced slowly and Toni could feel how tense Pepper was. 

“Am I making you uncomfortable? I’m sorry, you seem uncomfortable. We can stop if-.” Pepper smiled and cut her off with a laugh. 

“I’m good. It’s just the first time I forgot deodorant and danced with my boss in  
front of everyone I’ve ever worked with in a chiffon dress.” Toni laughed as she looked up at Pepper. 

“Would it help if I fired you? Take some of the edge off?” Pepper scoffed at that.

“You would die without me.” 

Toni laughed and attempted to spin Pepper while she said, “That I would.” 

They let themselves enjoy the moment, falling into a slow sway in time with the gentle music. Both she and Pepper could feel the stares but decided to ignore it. It couldn’t last forever though; Pepper pulled away and they both left the dance floor, moving to a balcony. 

“I’m sorry I was so awkward. I just really hate being the center of attention like that and with everything going down in SI, I was just worried how it might look, and-. Oh, god I’m sorry. I’m rambling-”

“Pepper,” Toni prompted. “Do you want me to get you another drink?” 

“A vodka martini, extra dry, with olives,” Pepper said immediately.

“Will do.” Toni smiled, turning and walking to the bar. 

“Miss Stark!” Another voice called as she was nearing the bar. 

Toni let out a breath of announcing before turning to face, “Ms. Everhart.” Toni said flatly. “How can I help you?” Christine looked at her with a smug smirk.

“I’d was hoping to get a reaction from you.” 

“Panic.” 

“I was referring to your company’s involvement in this latest atrocity.” 

“Hey, they just put my name on the invitation-” Christine shoved a file into her chest. Toni ignored the flickering pain from the arc reactor to open the folder. 

“Is this what you call accountability.” 

“When were these taken?” Toni asked quietly, rage filling every inch of her body. There were photos of a small town, Gulmira, being torn apart by terrorists using her weapons. 

I come from a small village, Gulmira. It was a good place...before these men ravaged it.

“Yesterday. Good P.R. move, by the way, telling the world you’re a changed woman. You had everyone eating out of the palm of your hand, even I believed you. Tell me, did you lie about Afghanistan too?” The photos were shaking in her hand and she couldn’t look away from them. 

“I didn’t, I didn’t approve of any of these shipments.” 

“Well, your company did.” 

“I’m not my company,” She snarls, before turning away from Christine, clutching the photos in her hand, and rushing away.  
*****  
“I said I wanted accountability.” She said, slamming the photos in Obadiah's chest. “I said I wanted to fix this company.” 

“Toni, what are you-?” He tried to ask, his gaze flickering to the cameras surrounding them. 

“You said you supported me. You said we are a team. So what the fuck is this?” Obadiah grabbed the photos and her arm before pulling her farther up the stairs away from the press. 

“Toni, You can’t afford to be naive. You know exactly what it is.” He muttered in a harsh whisper, trying to keep his voice down. 

Toni didn’t care about whether or not the cameras could hear her. “I was naive when they said, ‘here’s a line, we don’t cross it.’” 

“You need to put your emotions aside, Toni. You’re being hysterical.” He said. “This is how we do business. This is how we have always done business. It how your father did it, it’s how you do it.”   
“Are we dealing under the table?” She asked, staring at him. He straightened his back and tensed his jaw. There was her answer. Toni laughed. “I thought you were on my side. I thought you believed that I could turn this company around.” 

“Toni, you are a child! You don’t have any control, you never did. Why do you think I filled the injunction against you, Toni? You have no control and I needed to protect you.” He turned away from her and walked away. Toni stood there, shaking with anger and wanting nothing more than to scream. But the cameras were watching, just like they did all her life, so she instead turned and left.   
*****  
Toni was flying to Gulmira. 

“Miss, I must insist on this course of action. Couldn’t you contact Colonel Rhodes or SHIELD, perhaps?” JARVIS’ voice flooded the helmet. 

“It’s my fuck up, J. I have to fix it.” She muttered. 

“Miss, perhaps you should reconsider that. I don’t ever recall you selling weapons to terrorists.”

“I let it happen.” She said, cutting him off. “And now I’m going to fix it.” 

Toni immediately recognized Gulmira. It was chaos. Smoke and noise filled the air and Toni landed in the center of it all. She sees a little boy running and scoops him just as bullets started hitting her amour. She shelters him, keeping her back to the gun as she puts him behind some form of cover before turning to the face man in front of her. She lifted the repulser and sent him flying. Toni turned back to the kid run to his family who had been hiding. She smiled before taking off to the next point Jarvis indicated. 

Four men were holding a group of civilians hostage, guns pointed at each of them. Toni landed right in front of them, protecting the civilians. Targets popped up on the HUD and she felt the weapons expand from under the shoulder plates, taking aim at all of them. The men dropped and the civilians watched her terrified, but she didn’t acknowledge them, instead, she turned her back to them and flew off, carefully going from point to point to remove every threat in this village, including getting rid of all of her weapons in the town. 

She lands behind a man, who has an RPG aimed at a crowd and throws him against the nearest wall. Toni realizes it didn’t kill him as he turns to face her, cowering against the wall. His raises his hand in surrender. 

“Geneva Convention! Article Three! Geneva Convention!” He screams as she moves to lift him up, before throwing him at the feet of the civilians who were crowded together.

“He’s all yours.” She mutters, flying off to the next location. Just as she lands a tank shell whizzes by her head, past her and the crowd of people into the building next to them. 

She turns and watches as a tank rolls over makeshift huts towards them. Immediately, the HUD places a schematic overlay of the Stark-designed tank. She immediately identifies the weak spot and a forearm panel pops open. She aims the mini-missile pod and fires, causing it to go up in a blaze of fire. She stands there for a moment, watching the fiery debris, before turning around. Toni watches the crowd that had gathered and smiles as the little boy she saved early ran up to her. Toni gently musses his hair before waking off, watching the smoldering battlefield disappear as she raised into the clouds. 

She let a sigh of relief as she continued to rise and the universe decided to take that as a challenge. Toni really should have known better; what did she expect would happen when she flew straight into an active war zone? An alert light up the HUD and Toni put the call through right as she saw USAF F-22 Raptors rising from the clouds. 

"What's up, Platypus?" She asked, trying to not let her voice shake.

"Hey. Are you doing anything right now? Particularity in Gulmira?" Rhodey asked. 

"No, why on earth would I?" She responded, her voice coming out way too defensive.

"You haven't sent any tech this way? Really?" He drawled, clearly not believing a word she was saying. 

"You wound me, Sour Patch. Why on earth would I do anything in Gulmira- Shit." Tracer rounds streak past her. If it weren't JARVIS who took control of the suit and dodged, she would have been torn apart. 

"What's going on?" He asked again, panic lacing his tone. "Are you sure you're not doing I should know about?"

"Yes, I have no tech in Gulmira." She lied, her voice starting to become breathless. Rhodey let out a sigh of relief. 

"Good, cause I'm looking at some and this thing is about to be blown to kingdom come."

"Kingdom come?" She asked weakly. "Um, I'll have to call you back."

"Toni. Toni! Don't you dare-." Toni cuts the call before cutting the repulsors and popping out the brakes of the suit. She slows down to a quarter of her speed, hovering as the two Raptors blow past her. Out of the view of the cameras and the pilots, she follows closely behind them before clinging to the underside of one of the Raptors. 

“Miss, power at 30%,” JARVIS says urgently just as the Raptor she’s holding onto for dear life maneuvers into a roll. 

“Shit. JARVIS, prepare-.” She loses her grip and slams into the tail-fin of the plane. Toni manages to recover but the pilot doesn't and ejects from the plane. “J, help me catch him!” She yells, putting all the power to her thrusters. Even at this distance, she can see the pilot panicking as the parachute doesn't work. 

“It appears that the chute mechanism is stuck.” JARVIS highlighted the mechanism on the HUD as she approached it. The pilot screams get caught in the fall as approaches him, freeing the chute. Alarms blare the split second after and the words CRITICAL POWER FAILURE covers the HUD right before a proximity alert goes off and she gets caught in the explosion of a missile.   
*****  
Rhodey stares at the screen in muted horror as the piece of technology --Toni’s thing--, got hit by the missile. 

“Viper Two. Can you confirm kill?” Major Allen asked, pressing into the mic. There was a moment of static as Rhodey held his breath. 

“I got it good. It went down smoking but I cannot confirm, Sir. Erm, Sir, that thing was definitely not a UAV.” 

Rhodey felt his entire body tense up as Allen asked, “What?” 

“I think it was a man, Sir.” 

“Oh, fuck,” Rhodey muttered, his heart racing as the pieces finally clicked. He lifted his phone and tried to call Toni’s emergency number again. He had suspected Toni was somehow involved but he didn't think that was her. He didn’t know that it was actually Toni they just shot out of the sky.   
*****  
“Hey, Toni I need you to sign these papers and- What the fuck?” Pepper asked as she stepped into the garage. “Holy shit. Are those bullet holes?”

“Hey, Pep.” Toni croaked. “Let’s be honest,” She said, looking down at the JARVIS controlled mechanical arms disassembling the armored suit. “This isn’t the worst thing you’ve seen me doing.” Pepper stared and her brain could just not process what the fuck was going on. Toni stumbled forward as the front of the amour was pulled away. She stumbled over to her chair and spun towards Pepper. Pepper opened her mouth to speak when her phone ringed. The words: COULSON, SHIELD covered her phone. 

“Erm, hello?” She asked, pressing the speaker button on the phone and sending a sharp glare at Toni who was watching with confused eyes.

“Miss Potts, this is Agent Coulson from the Strategic Homeland--.” They both met with gazes of panic.

“What should I do?” She mouthed, throwing out a hand in panic. 

“I don’t fucking know,” Toni responded in the same silent panic. She made a motion that she hoped communicated ‘make something up’.

“Miss Potts, are you there?” 

“Uh, I. Yes, hello. Um, Miss Stark is unable to meet with you and will be unable to meet with you for the time being.” 

“Really? Why is that?” 

“She is,” Pepper's eyes flicked at Toni as if she could give her an awesome. “She is currently... preparing to leave the country to seek treatment for her PTSD.” Toni pressed a hand to her face.

“Is that so?” Coulson asked, totally unbelieving. “Why isn’t she just searching in country?” 

“Toni, erm, has had difficulty finding someone for her. We also believed a trip out of the country would be a well-needed break for her with everything going on with the press and SI.” 

“Of course,” He responded. “Could I just meet with you instead?” 

“Uh, I-.” 

The doorbell cut her off and JARVIS said, “Miss Potts, Colonel Rhodes is currently at the door.” Toni felt panic surge and looked at Pepper with wide eyes; she felt the sudden urge to get in the suit and fly far, far away. 

“I’m sorry, Agent. I’ll have to get back to you. My next appointment is here.” 

“Miss Potts-.” Pepper satisfyingly hung up of him before he could finish his sentence.

“Rhodey’s here? What do you mean Rhodey’s here?” Toni cried in a panic. She did not need this at all: the lecture, the guilt, and that tone he would always take when she was doing something stupid. 

“He wanted to talk to me about some tech they found in Gulmira. Thought it might be Stark Tech.” 

“Pepper, that was me! I’m the tech.” She pointed a finger towards the fucked up amour. “Last time I talked to Rhodey, he and the Air Force were in the process of trying to kill me.”

“The Air Force? What the hell?!” 

“Miss Potts, Miss Stark, Colonel Rhodes is demanding to be let in.”

“Let him in.” “Make him go away.” They said at the same time. 

“Colonel Rhodes is on his way down.” 

“Goddamnit,” Toni muttered, dragging her hands down her face.   
*****  
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Rhodey yelled in a whirlwind of panic and anger. Toni kept her gaze downcast as he barreled on about what a bad idea this was. Pepper watched her with the same disappointing gaze Rhodey had. Frustration and anger counited to build in her and she didn’t even know how to respond. “Why on God's earth did you think flying around in a tin suit was a good idea? You could have died!” 

Don’t waste your life, Toni. 

She knocked over the chair as she stood up in a blaze of rage. “I should be dead!” Toni yelled and Rhodey and Pepper went startlingly still. “I should have died when my own weapons blew me up. I should have died when I had to slot an arc reactor in my chest. I should have died when I escaped out of that fucking cave, but I didn’t.” She paused and took a breath, the silence hanging over the three of them. “Right now, I shouldn’t be alive unless it was for a reason. I’m not crazy, I just finally know what I need to do. You guys are all I have; I need your help” 

Rhodey matched her gaze. “What are you trying to do? What do you hope to accomplish with this?” 

“You’re going to kill yourself,” Pepper said quietly. “I- I can’t be a part of this.”

"You stood by my side all these years while I reaped the benefits of destruction,” She scoffed. “Now that I'm trying to protect the people I've put in harm's way, you're just going to walk out?"

“The weapons you create protect people,” Rhodey said as if she should know better. 

"Tell that to the thousands of people the Ten Rings killed using my weapons. Tell that to the American Soldiers killed because SI had been dealing under the table to their enemies. Tell that Gulmira,” She snarled. “SI doesn’t help anyone except terrorists.” Rhodey and Pepper stared at her aghast and unbelieving.

Pepper breathed, “Are you saying-”

“What proof do you have?” Rhodey interrupted. “That's an accusation of treason.” 

“Obie admitted it at the Fire Fighters Gala. He’s the one that’s trying to lock me out of SI dealing under the table. But, of course, the word of a hysterical, PTSD inflicted women isn’t enough. Pepper,” Toni handed her a USB flash drive. “Get into my office. Hack into the mainframe and get everything you can.” Pepper didn’t take the flash drive as Tony turned her voice to Rhodey. 

“Rhodey, I need you to keep the military off my ass.”

“You’re one crazy son of a bitch,” Rhodey muttered, pressing a hand to his forehead before going to leave. “You- you owe me a plane.” 

“Technically they hit me.” She said, not looking away from Pepper. 

“Can you do it?” Toni asked once Rhodey was gone. Pepper looked at her and then the lock chip.

“You know, you’re all I have too.” She said, grabbing the chip from Toni's hand. She took a shaky breath before looking into Toni’s eyes. “Will that be all, Miss Stark?”

“That’ll be all, Miss Potts.”   
*****  
“Hey, J? Where’s my phone?” Toni asked, following the ringing upstairs. “J, where- Here we are.” She muttered, pulling it out from under a couch pillow.

She slid the accept call and said,“Pepp-” 

A high pitch whirl filled her head and she couldn’t move.

Toni couldn’t move. 

Something ripped the phone from her hand and slowly --almost gently-- leaned her limp body against the back of the couch. 

“Breathe,” Obadiah said. “Easy, easy.” He muttered, leaning over her. “You remember this don’t you?” He held the sonic taser in front of her limp head. “It’s really a shame that the government didn’t allow production. Short-term paralysis. Imagine the possibility, the applications.” He moved in front of her and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “But they, just like you, were too short-sighted.” Her heart thudded in her ears. 

“You know, you are one stubborn bitch,” He said in a tone that was complimentary. “I tried to kill you twice and yet here you are. One man couldn’t do the job so I turned to an army, but Raza got greedy. He smiles, tracing a finger down her face before moving down to the reactor. “I mean, I can understand why: I mean you’re a golden goose.” His hand drifted over the light of the arc reactor and he stared for a moment before moving to unbutton her shirt. Obadiah pushed the locket off her chest and completely uncovered the reactor. 

“I like to believe it was fate that helped you survive both attempts: faith brought you here to give me this.” Obadiah tapped the reactor before leaning away.

“You know, when you were a child, I didn’t agree with Howard’s method of handling you.” He turned back to her with what looked like a hybrid of a claw and a magnet, “I thought it was unnecessary,” He pressed it against the reactor and Toni felt the claw attach itself. “But, now I understand: this really was the only way to take care of you.” 

The claw clicked and hissed before Obadiah twisted it and pulled the reactor slowly out of her chest. Toni looked desperately at the wire still attached inside her; one pull and the shrapnel would be moving towards her heart. He loomed over her, the glow of the reactor washing over them. 

“Beautiful,” He admired. “With this technology, the world will finally be in safe hands. My hands. You know, the first time I saw this --when you showed me it-- I wanted nothing more than to rip it out and leave you dead on the floor but I’m so glad I waited. This.” Obadiah closed his eyes and took a deep, satisfied breath. “This is so much more fulfilling. ” 

“You know, this right here is your legacy. This is your ninth- symphony. This is the future and the future is bright.” He ripped the wire out of her chest and Toni would have let out a scream of anguish if she could just get her body to move.

Obadiah stared at it for just another moment before putting it in his case. He stood and touched a hand to her face --something she used to find such comfort in-- before saying, “You should have just stayed complacent. If you let yourself stay ignorant, stay naive, maybe you could have stayed alive. It really a shame you got Pepper involved as well.” He turned away and started walking, before pausing and looking back with a smirk, “I didn’t really want to kill her.”

She watched him leave and heard the door slam shut, leaving her totally alone. 

Toni could feel the shrapnel crawling towards her heart and rage running through her veins. The sonic taser was wearing off and she was not about to die here. She was not about to let him win. She threw herself violently off the couch, barely managing to stagger to her feet before stumbling over into the elevator. The door dings open and she falls forward out of the elevator. All she can feel is her heart thumping in her head as she drags herself across the floor of the lab. She reaches the work table and she reaches her hand to grab the Mark I “PROOF THAT TONI STARK HAS A HEART” reactor. Her finger slides down the glass of the mount before accidentally pushing it farther away. She tries again and again, each moment wearing her body until she slumps against the table, unable to reach the reactor. 

Then she hears a whirl and Dum-E holds the reactor in his claw. 

“Oh, good boy.” She mutters, the words hoarse as she grabs it and slams the glass case against the ground. 

“Toni! Toni!” A voice cries but she doesn’t have time to waste as she clears the glass shards from the reactor and shoves it into her chest. She lets out a breath just as Rhodey comes running down the stairs. He rushes over to her and tries to help pull her off the ground. 

“Pepper, is Pepper okay?” Toni asks through heavy breathing with a shaking voice. 

“Yeah, she’s good. She’s with like five different agents, she’s safe. Toni, what happened to you? Are you- are you okay?” 

“He took the arc reactor, Rhodey. He ripped it out of my chest and now I’m going to get him and I’m going stop him.”

“Toni, let the agents-” 

“No,” She snarled. She shoved away from him and moved towards the armor. Toni was shivering with anger and pain as she stepped onto the platform and metal encased her. “The agents can’t stop him, I’m going to stop him.”  
*****  
Obadiah’s suit was a monstrosity. Her suit, her creation, and he twisted it into something awful, just like he would do with all her creations: her weapons, the reactor. Yet, at its core, it was still her invention. She knew it inside and out and his awful “improvements” couldn’t mask the weakness. 

“So what did you do about that icing problem?” Toni asked as she hit the maximum attitude her suit would take her. Obadiah was a few feet below her and his suit was icing over, just like hers had during the first test. He didn’t get a word in as his suit plummeted to the ground. She watches him fall for a moment when JARVIS interrupts. 

“Miss, critical fail-”

She falls, the repulsors giving out.   
*****  
Somehow they both manage to survive. 

“Pepper!” She yells, hanging over the original arc reactor. “Override the arc reactor!” 

“That’ll kill you!” 

“Just do it!” A beam of power and energy exploded from the building. Toni rolls and manages to escape an awful, painful death. From the screams she hears, Obadiah is not that lucky.   
*****  
“Iron Man?” Toni asks, indigent as she looks at the newspaper. “There are two things wrong with that. “One: The suit's a gold-titanium alloy. Two: I’m not man. Just because I didn’t put boobs on my suit doesn’t mean- ow. ” She mutters, flinching away at Pepper’s attempt to cover a massive bruise on her face with concealer. 

“Can you not? Why do you even need to do that, just let them be,” She muttered, trying to swat away Pepper’s hand.

 

“And how do you care to explain them to the press?” Pepper responded, not pausing as she tried to cover a small cut on Toni’s forehead. 

She shrugged, “I’m in an abusive relationship with my bots. They’re good boys, they just need some help. It’s never happened before, I promise.”

“And this is why you didn’t write the cover story,” Coulson said, stepping into the room. He walked up to her and shoved a couple of cards in her hand. “Here’s your alibi. You were on your yacht and we have port papers that put you in Avalon all night, and sworn statements from 50 of your guests.” She flipped through the cards. “Iron Man is your bodyguard and that is all you have to say on the issue. 

“There’s nothing about Stane in here,” Toni said flatly. 

“He’s on vacation and you know, small planes have such a bad reputation.” Toni rolled her eyes and stood before moving toward the door. 

“You know, it’s not a bad thing, keeping this a secret,” Pepper said, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“The fact that I’m the Iron man, women, thing? Or that Stane was double-dealing under the table and tried to kill me not twice, but three times?” 

“Both.” 

“I’m tired of the lies and the secrets, Pep.” Pepper shrugged.

“Secrets can be necessary.” 

“Maybe,” Toni said, before turning away and walking away from her. She stepped behind the podium next to Rhodey and shifted her gaze over the audience.

“Hello,” She said. “It’s been a while since I’ve been up here. I have cards this time to make sure I don’t say anything controversial like last time. So, let's not waste anymore of anyone’s time. There’s been speculation that I was involved in an incident that occured-”

“Miss Stark cut the bullshit,” Christine said from her front row seat. “Do you really expect us to believe that this "Iron Man" was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that you-” 

“Stick to the cards,” Rhodey muttered. She flicked a gaze at him.

“I know that it's confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm the man in the metal suit.”

“I wasn’t-” 

“You were but, you know, thank you actually.” She paused and made a show of throwing the cards behind her as she stepped in front of the podium. Toni ignored the panic whispered from Rhodey and the shocked gaze from Pepper as she stood tall, raising her chin. “It makes everything so much easier becauses the truth is… I am Iron Man.” Toni ignores the screams and question of reporters and shoves away Rhodey as she walks towards the exit, a smirk covering her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Freinds! We finally finished Iron Man! Woohoo. I'm now on Summer break so expect to see a surge of updates. Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos and comments as I feed off of validation. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for picking this story, I hope you enjoyed. This is my first fic so if you see anything that needs to be fixed or you have any advice, I'd love for you to leave it in the comments. I will attempt to post monthly but we'll see how that actually goes.  
> This story is mostly going to follow canon MCU through the lens of a female Toni Stark but the first couple of chapters are going to follow pre-IM1 Toni Stark. Thanks for checking it out.


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